What It Means to Be ANBU
by blinded-oedipus
Summary: A coming of age tale focusing on love, friendship, death, and the burdens of being a shinobi. Rated M for violence, language, and other adult themes.
1. The First Kiss

**Author's Note:** I do not own Naruto nor do I profit from my writing. Also, to clear up any future questions, this does not follow the time line currently going on in the manga. It split off on a different tangent some time after the reunion at Orochimaru's lair and before Itachi's death. So yeah. Rated M for later more explicit content. Read, review, and enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: The First Kiss<strong>

For as long as Naruto could remember, he had loved a girl by the name of Haruno Sakura. It was an honest love, first fuelled by a young boy who did not understand the full meaning of the word. When he first saw her in the playground—her pink hair tied back by a giant red bow and her cheeks adorned with the summer sun's kiss—he had no idea that she was the woman who would fill his life with inspiration, joy, and overwhelming sadness.

Naruto's memory wasn't the best, so he could not remember exactly what had drawn him to Sakura in their early childhood. Perhaps it was the way her face lit up when she spoke to someone, or the gentle way she caressed a flower blooming in the field. Whatever it was, he was hooked. For life.

In retrospect, there really was no reason why he _should _have liked Sakura, at least during their time at the academy. He hung on every word she said, but she regarded him with disdain and contempt. She only had eyes for another, but this only seemed to encourage Naruto further. Growing up in the manner that he had, Naruto was used to having to work for something. Nothing was handed to the spawn of a demon. So he handled the situation as he would any other problem. He worked and laboured and slaved for her attention, constantly complementing her, admiring her from afar, and all together doing his best to be a ray of sunshine in her world. Of course, when this proved ineffective, he had no choice but to work and labour and slave again.

When it became time to select genin teams, Naruto prayed to Kami—or whoever it was that ran things up there—to pair him off with Sakura. He got what he wanted, but it came with a price. He would have to endure and somehow force her to overcome her infatuation with their other teammate, Uchiha Sasuke. What a sick twist of fate. But he took it all in stride. This would only make him stronger.

The next year was a blur of blood. Naruto barely had time to notice how his puppy love had evolved into a protective instinct. He took shots for her. He dealt blows for her. He trained harder for her. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he remembered how her scent had changed as she had entered adolescence. The change had sparked a reaction inside of him, and he viewed her in a new light. He noticed her pale skin and sinewy form as she pranced across the battlefield with natural grace and beauty. But then a mission would come along, and his thoughts would be put on hold so he could continue his fight for her. His entire team had grown closer due to their shared experiences, and while Naruto was still determined to crush Sasuke in the contest for Sakura's heart, he regarded him as a brother instead of an enemy.

And then everything changed . . .

The weight of their relationship shifted considerably when she asked him to do her a favor. A small favor really. All he had to do was beat some sense into his friend—her love—and drag his sorry ass home. He had his own reasons for bringing Sasuke back, but Naruto knew he would be lying to himself if he said that he didn't do it for her. He just knew that once he did this for her, once he brought her the thing she wanted most, Sakura would understand the depths of his devotion to her and finally reciprocate his feelings. Naruto ignored the obvious. He ignored the fact that she was still in love with Sasuke. He didn't allow himself to think that she had asked him _because_ he would do anything for her. Because he was convenient and easily controlled—though these thoughts plagued his mind as he grew older. In spite of everything, he was determined to succeed.

But he failed . . . several times.

Naruto almost welcomed their three year separation. Though he was sure that Sakura harbored no ill-will towards him, he imagined that he could still feel the weight of her disappointment over the many miles that separated them.

But once they were reunited, Naruto could not imagine how he had managed to be away from her for so long. He drank in the sight of her, admiring the changes she had undergone in his absence. When they trained together, Naruto would sometimes catch himself staring at her for longer than was socially acceptable. He strove to become a master of stealth to conceal his obsession. Sometimes, when they stretched after a rigorous day of training, Naruto would purposefully position himself slightly behind her so that he could memorize the curve of her backside or gaze uninterrupted at the soft swell of her breasts underneath her shirt. However, Sakura was not completely oblivious to his peeping, and he left the practice grounds with a broken nose—which Sakura always refused to heal—on more than one occasion. It was all worth it. He stole these perfect images away in his mind, bringing them up when his hormones made it necessary for him to relieve himself.

In the next few years, his love for her changed once more. He regarded her with a sense of awe coupled with a desperate physical want that he could never satisfy by just merely thinking about her. And yet, Naruto could never find the courage to express his feelings directly. But they permeated every action that he made so thoroughly, that he had no doubts as to whether or not she knew.

He remembered always being with her. They would train together. Eat together. Walk together. Talk with each other about endless subjects . . . except one. A void stretched between them, filled with all the things left unsaid in regards to their lost teammate. Naruto wanted so badly to close the void, to seal it up and pull Sakura close to him and tell her that she would never have to worry about that bastard Sasuke because he was there for her and wasn't that all that mattered? But he never managed to tell her.

They spoke Sasuke's name only when he was the target of their many missions, which always failed. Sakura began to give up hope, but Naruto never broke his resolve. He threw his whole self into his training once again, determined to become stronger, adamant in his belief that if he brought Sasuke back to Konoha, he would earn Sakura's heart. Ironically, this fixation with training caused Naruto to concentrate on little else, including Sakura. Their friendship waned and continued in this fashion for months until they stumbled into each other by accident and fell back into sync as if nothing had disturbed their bond.

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><p>Naruto could have kicked himself. He had known that he needed to get groceries for nearly a week, but had constantly put it off, secretly hoping that some angel would realize his plight and deliver a basket full of goodies at his door so he wouldn't have to trek down to the market. Unfortunately, this never came to pass, so after he had finished his daily training session, he marched to town in a huff. He absolutely abhorred doing such mundane tasks, but his stomach and cabinets were empty, and he refused to starve.<p>

After picking up some milk and bread, Naruto stuffed his bag with as much ramen as he could afford to buy and made a bee-line for the checkout lane. In his haste, he neglected to effectively watch where he was going and accidentally clipped someone on the shoulder. The bag tumbled to the floor and spilled its contents across the aisle.

"Shit," he muttered under his breath as he looked at the bag. Trying to uphold the rules of courtesy, Naruto turned towards the unidentified person he had bumped, who was squatting over their own fallen bag of groceries. "Sorry," he began and bent down to assist them. "I wasn't watching where I was go—oh, hey, Sakura." The pink-headed girl looked up from the floor, looking about as surprised as he felt at the unexpected meeting.

Her green eyes blinked owlishly at him until she finally seemed to register what had just happened. "Naruto . . . oh, yeah. It's no big deal. I wasn't paying attention either." She waved off his apology and turned her attention back to her bag.

A few silent moments passed as they picked up the scattered items. Naruto tried to appear calm on the outside, but he was a nervous wreck on the inside. He couldn't believe he had bumped into her. Of all the clumsy things to do. And to make it worse, he hadn't even noticed her! He would have walked right by without as much as a 'hello' if he hadn't been so reckless. As he handed her the final item, Naruto smiled and said a little awkwardly, "So . . . how have you been? Haven't seen you in . . . Um . . . "

"A couple of months, yeah," Sakura finished for him and accepted the last item from him. "I've been alright. Busy with the hospital. How about you?" she asked, a genuine inquiry behind her gaze.

He paused for a moment, caught off guard as he always was by her eyes. As he snapped back into reality, he quickly busied himself by picking up his packets of ramen and stuffing them in his bag. "I'm good," he said. "I've been training a lot."

Sakura laughed softly, as if that were to be expected, and then proceeded to help him. A few seconds passed before she stopped in her work and examined one of the packages.

"How much ramen do you need?" she asked incredulously and shook her head. "I swear, Naruto, you're going to kill yourself one day. Either that, or gain a hundred pounds."

Naruto scoffed in disbelief and defended his abnormal love for the packaged noodles. Though he could not help but feel that they had had this conversation before, Naruto eagerly welcomed it. It helped re-establish some of the normalcy that had been lost between them. Before long, he found himself walking down the aisles with her, chatting about various things that had happened to them since they last saw each other. They reached the checkout lane in no time, and he felt disheartened by the fact that their time together had come to an end.

As Sakura laid out her items for the cashier to view, Naruto rocked back and forth on his heels, anxious and fretful at the same time. "Hey . . . how about you come over for dinner? I've got plenty of food to go around," he baited her and waved one of the packages for her to see.

Sakura laughed lightly and began to count her bills. "Well, you sure know how to treat a lady," she joked and handed the cashier the money. For one painfully agonizing moment, Naruto thought that she was going to reject the idea. He dropped his eyes to his feet and was about to mumble that he, too, had been kidding, but Sakura spoke before he had the chance. "Sure, why not? It'll be fun. Like old times."

As the night continued on, Naruto had a hard time imagining how he had gone so long without spending time with Sakura. Her laugh and smile were contagious. She spoke and moved with the same mysterious grace that she had always possessed, and Naruto was immediately hooked once again. They passed the hours at his apartment talking, just like they used to, until the sun disappeared from the sky and Naruto had to struggle to stay awake. It had been a long day of training, and if he had been following his normal routine, he would have hit the hay a good while ago.

After finishing one of her stories, Sakura yawned and glanced at the time. "Oh God, is it really that late? I should get home before my parents start to wonder where I am," she said and stood from her place on the couch. After much insisting on his part, Naruto finally managed to convince Sakura to allow him to walk her home.

He carried her bag in his left arm while she walked by his right side. His hand twitched more than once from the desire to intertwine his fingers with hers or wrap his arm around her narrow waist. To distract himself from the mesmerizing way the moonlight danced across her cheekbones, Naruto struck up another casual conversation. They discussed their current training schedules. Sakura congratulated him on being promoted to a chuunin, even though she admitted that she had heard it through the grapevine about a month earlier.

"You heard, and you didn't say anything?" he asked in mock disbelief, appearing appalled by her lack of manners.

"I never saw you! God knows you're always out there training for ridiculous amounts of time," she defended herself in a small huff.

"Aha! So you knew where I was, but you couldn't come congratulate me?"

Sakura rolled her eyes and waved the comment away. "It doesn't matter. We were both in the wrong." Naruto opened his mouth to protest, but one menacing look from Sakura rendered him speechless. He supposed he could take some of the blame. After all, he knew that she was stationed at the hospital most days, and he had never sought her out to tell her.

They walked in silence for a few more minutes until Sakura's house came into view. A sombre expression reached Sakura's face, and she slowed to a stop when the house was still one hundred yards away. Naruto stopped too, and tentatively set the bag on the ground. He could feel the sudden shift in mood—the set of her eyes, the set of her mouth—and found it a bit unsettling.

"Naruto . . . " Sakura murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. He turned towards her, a concerned look on his face to let her know he was listening. "You really are training all the time. Almost obsessively," she paused here, as if expecting him to disagree with her. When he did not, she looked straight ahead and continued, "All this training that you're doing . . . is it still to bring Sasuke back?"

Her question hung heavy in the air. Naruto felt a pang of emotions in his chest at the mention of their teammate's name. He felt sorrow and guilt and anger and loneliness. But more than anything else, he felt disappointed that Sakura would even have to ask about his intentions. "Of course it is. I haven't given up yet, Sakura. And I never will!" His tone was gruff, determined, and almost twice as loud as her soft whisper.

She did not mirror his passion. Her face remained passive and her eyes looked far beyond at something she could not see as she nodded to herself, as if she were expecting to hear such an answer. "I see . . . " she mumbled in reply. Naruto furrowed his brow and tried to see her face more clearly, but when he moved to the side to try and face her head-on, her face shied away from his prying eyes. After an uncomfortable silence, she turned to face him. Her green eyes were round and luminous in the moonlight, and any anger that Naruto still felt at the recollection of Sasuke quickly melted away as he stared down into them.

A small smile pulled at Sakura's lips, but aside from that, her face was unreadable. "I know it's been awhile, but . . . do you still remember that promise you made me?" she asked quietly.

Sadness filled Naruto's heart. How could she think that he would forget? "Of course I do," he answered just as quietly.

Her expression did not change, but he somehow felt that his answer had upset her. He couldn't understand why. "Is that why you fight, then? Do you fight for that promise?"

As Naruto stared down at her eyes—weak and vulnerable in comparison to her hard expression—he felt a surge of emotions rise up in his chest. He had always loved Sakura; he knew this, but now he wanted her to know as well. She needed to know just how deeply he cared about her. "I fight for you," he answered. "I always have. I'd do anything for you, Sakura." And, just because the moment was so perfect, he leaned down and pressed his lips against hers. She didn't move. Naruto held it for a few more seconds. His hand caressed her cheek and he breathed in her scent for as long as he could, but when it became apparent that she was not going to return his actions, he pulled away.

His eyes fell to the ground as he stepped away from her, ashamed and yet proud of his forwardness with her. When he took his chances and looked up at her, Naruto saw her watching him carefully. A deep sense of melancholy emanated from her. Finally, she turned her head to gaze without seeing down the street.

Sakura was quiet for a long time. Every second they stood there, Naruto felt more foolish and more heartbroken. For the life of him, he could not read her face. That fact alone frustrated him more than anything he had ever encountered. Just when he was about to apologize, Sakura began to speak. Her words were so soft that he barely caught them. "Maybe I'm not the one you should be fighting for."

Her words left him in a daze. He stared openly at her with a burning question in his eyes. What did she mean? Was she telling him to move on to someone else? He could think of no other answer . . . but he knew Sakura would not be so cruel. Not to him. He felt anxious and hurt, but he did his best to appear patient and unaffected by the whole situation. After Sakura was finished pondering her silent thought, she resumed walking, slowly now, and Naruto hurried to pick up the bag and follow.

They walked to her house in silence, Naruto's eyes focused on anything but Sakura and Sakura's eyes focused straight ahead. It was painfully awkward for Naruto, but when he glanced at Sakura from the corner of his eye, her mind seemed to be so far off that he doubted if she even noticed the silence. Once they reached the house, Sakura opened the door and took the bag from him with a word of thanks, setting it down inside the house before standing in the doorway. He mumbled a quick 'don't mention it', stuffed his hands in his pockets, and focused his complete attention on his shoes.

After another beat of silence, Sakura let out a soft sigh before placing a hand against his cheek. Naruto looked up sheepishly and was relieved to see her smiling gently at him. She was herself once again. "Don't look so down. It doesn't suit you," she smiled again, but it faltered. "We should see each other more often. I think it would do us both some good." She let her hand fall back to her side and waited patiently for his response.

Naruto did his best to return the smile, but it was hard to concentrate when he could still feel the ghost of her hand on his face. "Yeah, we should. Definitely . . . well . . . good night, Sakura-chan," he waved as he turned to leave, surprising himself by adopting the old suffix.

If Sakura was similarly surprised, she did not show it. "Good night, Naruto," she said and closed the door.

Naruto brooded for the first half of his walk home. He couldn't believe he had been so stupid. He never should have tried anything with Sakura. He knew it wouldn't get him anywhere. And then she had said that thing about not fighting for her. Who else was he supposed to fight for! He loved her, for Christ's sake! He would go to hell and back just to make her happy. Did that mean nothing to her? And she had shown no emotion towards him. Hell, even a slap to the face would have been more welcome than her silence. She had disregarded the kiss completely, as if it had never happened. But it did happen. It happened and now he had to suffer the shame that accompanied it.

When his emotions had simmered down, Naruto tried to re-examine the whole situation, in case he had overlooked any minor details that could prove useful. All he could think to note was how sad—almost depressed—Sakura had been. His own heart fell in response. He hadn't meant hurt her; he only wanted to express how he felt. Apparently, that had been the wrong decision.

After much reflection on the night's events, Naruto thought that maybe he was being too pessimistic. She had not flat-out rejected him. True, her silence was disappointing, but it was not 'no.' Perhaps her silence meant that she just needed time to think about it. For all he knew, Sakura could have still been in love with Sasuke. The thought alone set him on edge.

Her words were still a mystery to him, so he decided to ponder them at a different time. He focused, instead, on their goodbye. She had not ordered him to leave or even been awkward about it. Instead, she had touched his face and asked to see him again. This, more than anything, gave him hope. Sakura had been very deliberate with her movements. By those two simple acts, she had told him that she was not angry with him. She had touched him to let him know that she still trusted him and that she did not think he had taken advantage of her. Her words had made it clear that she did not want this to come between them. On the contrary, she wanted to see him more. She had said all of this without even mentioning the kiss, and Naruto loved her for that. By not mentioning it, she made it clear that she did not wish to discuss it. He couldn't blame her.

As Naruto lay awake that night, something occurred to him. He shot up in bed at the revelation, his mind racing to keep up with itself. Sakura's words finally made sense to him. How could he have been so blinded! She had not meant to spurn him. No, no. It all made sense. He shouldn't be fighting for her. This wasn't her battle. This was his. How could he be expected to bring Sasuke back when his whole heart wasn't dedicated to the task? It was impossible.

Naruto fell back onto his bed and buried his head in his pillow. He would do it. Starting tomorrow he was starting over. He would build up his strength until he was skilled enough to become part of the ANBU Black Ops, and then he would hunt Sasuke down, break every bone in his body for all the pain he had caused him, and drag him back to Konoha. That would be for the best. It would make Sakura happy, but more importantly, it would make him happy.

The very next day, he would march over to Tsunade's office and deliberate the terms of Sasuke's return. Once he found terms that were suitable, he would train as if his life depended on it. Then and only then would his heart be relieved of this burden and be set free to pursue Sakura in the manner that it wished.

Three years later, he was closer to his goal than ever before.

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><p>To be continued . . .<p> 


	2. The Celebration

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for all the great reviews and favorites! I just finished one of the later chapters and am in good spirits. So here's the next chapter a little early. As always, read, review, and enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: The Celebration<strong>

"So you got in? That's fucking fantastic!"

Naruto couldn't help but laugh as Kiba slapped him hard across the back and pulled him into a headlock, which he easily broke free of. "Yep, it's official. I'm a part of the ANBU now," he admitted, grinning from ear to ear. As soon as the results had been finalized, Naruto had rushed to the training grounds in hopes of finding someone to share the news with. To his delight, he had found Kiba beating a wooden post senseless and immediately told him the news.

"Aw, man, that's great. Going to get the tattoo and everything? Damn. And at nineteen, too. That's still pretty young," he said as he leaned against the post and wiped sweat away from his brow.

"Not that young. Plenty of others have been admitted at a much earlier age. Kakashi-sensei got in wh—"

Kiba waved off his humbleness and interrupted, "Don't let that old man's accomplishments diminish the importance of this. It's impressive. Hell, you even got in before me." Kiba flashed his teeth in a wolfish grin and straightened against the pole. A moment later, Kiba's giant hound, Akamaru, came trotting over. He barked once to acknowledge Naruto and then nudged his partner's arm as if to ask why he had stopped working. Kiba ran his hand absent-mindedly through Akamaru's fur and continued, "Yeah, Akamaru and I were hoping to get promoted next summer. But right now, we're happy with our current status." Akamaru barked an affirmative.

They exchanged lesser bits of information—how were their teammates doing, had the other had any interesting missions recently—until a lull appeared in the conversation. Just as Naruto was about to excuse himself to spread the news, a devious grin spread across Kiba's face and he asked, "So how are you celebrating?"

It took Naruto a second to comprehend what he meant. "Celebrating?"

Kiba rolled his eyes and scoffed. "Come on, you weren't going to celebrate? This is sake worthy stuff here, Naruto! We should have a party!"

As much as Naruto loved to be with his friends, he was still slightly wary of Kiba's idea. "I don't know, Kiba. I just got in. I don't think I should get wasted right before—"

"Before what? You just got in. All they're gonna do is slap that tattoo on you, read you in, and have you fill out some paperwork. It's not like they're going to send you off on a mission tomorrow. Live a little, man," Kiba chastised him and punched him on the arm.

Naruto smiled despite himself and let out a big sigh. "I guess you're right. What kind of party were you thinking of?"

Kiba hatched a wonderful scheme. He knew a guy who could secure them a big section of the bar. If he talked to him before noon, the spot was almost guaranteed to be theirs. "I'll spread the word. Invite whoever you want, too. It's going to be the best night of your life," Kiba assured him with another slap on the back before they said their goodbyes.

Naruto passed the rest of the day by locating his various friends and telling them the news. Most of them promised to attend, however, not all of them could make it. Shino and Hinata were away on missions. Kakashi claimed that he had not yet stooped so low as to drink with his former students. Lee expressed his aversion to alcohol, but assured Naruto that he would attend anyway.

Even Sakura with her hectic schedule at the hospital planned on coming. "I might have to switch a few shifts around, but I wouldn't miss it for the world," she said while she sorted through papers behind the front desk. Naruto was glad that she was so willing to come. Though he liked Kiba's idea of throwing a huge party, as long as Sakura was there to share the memory with him, that's all he could ever want.

Surprisingly enough, things had not changed much after their kiss three years ago. If anything, they were closer—or as close as they could be with their conflicting schedules. Sakura pulled long shifts at the hospital and only took the most dangerous missions. Her immense strength and exceptional medical skills made her a vital part of any successful platoon, but Tsunade preferred to keep Sakura at the hospital if any medic-nin of lesser status could complete the job.

Naruto took missions whenever he could and trained when he couldn't. Somewhere in the midst of it all, he and Sakura found time to see each other. Naruto felt that their friendship kept him sane. It was something that was permanently rooted to the ground in a world of shifting shadows. Though his love for Sakura remained, he now knew better than to risk their friendship by trying to push his feelings on her too quickly. He knew that if he waited patiently by her side, never faltering in his affections, she would have to feel something in return. She just had to.

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><p>Word of the night's festivities soon spread throughout the upper ranks of Konoha's shinobi, and when Naruto finally arrived at the party, he was surprised to see the bar already full of his friends, acquaintances, and even a few people he did not know. A loud cheer rang out when he entered, and Naruto grinned in response to the boisterous charisma of the room. Before he had taken three steps inside, he was attacked from behind as Kiba threw and arm around him and shook him roughly.<p>

"Here he is! The man of the hour!" he called out to the small crowd. Another cheer rang throughout the bar. Naruto smelled the faint odour of alcohol on his breath, and he wondered just how early Kiba had come to the party. "Come on," Kiba said and pulled him towards the bar. "Let's get you a drink."

The drinking age of Konoha was set at twenty, but few bar owners would refuse to serve anyone who was in the service of the village. As far as they were concerned, any man that fought to defend their village deserved a drink. Plus, ninja had a reputation of drinking themselves under the table. Any businessman would be a fool to turn down such a profit.

When the night was still early, Naruto was congratulated by countless people. Choji slapped him so hard across the back that his legs buckled. Shikamaru grasped his arm and asked him how someone as thick as he was had risen in rank so quickly. Even Sai had given his felicitations in his backwards sort of way.

After shaking several hands, accepting multiple hugs, and meeting half a dozen unmasked ANBU operatives who said that they looked forward to working with him, Naruto found himself alone. In that half-second of quiet, he glanced around the room and was disappointed when his eyes did not land on a pink head of hair. Kiba noticed the nervous expression on his face and pulled him back to the bar, declaring that he needed another drink.

Just when Naruto had thought he had met with everyone who had come, he found himself standing with Neji and Lee. They appeared to be the only sober people in the room.

"Congratulations on your promotion, Naruto! I knew that your youthful fire could not go unnoticed for much longer! Perhaps Neji and I will see you around the ANBU headquarters," Lee suggested with a grin as wide as his face. Naruto couldn't help but chuckle at his energy. Lee didn't need alcohol to get drunk. He was always drunk on life.

"Yeah, maybe," Naruto said and accepted a handshake from Neji.

"Congratulations, Naruto. You will make a fine addition to the team," Neji assured him in his low, calm voice. Neji had been the first of their group to achieve ANBU status, and Lee had followed a year later.

Most of Naruto's friends were content to remain chuunin or jounin, and he could not blame them. He sometimes wondered if he would have aspired to become part of the assassination squad so early in his career had it not been for his circumstances. Under normal conditions, Naruto would have kept his doubts to himself, but the liquor loosened his tongue, and he hoped that maybe one of his friends shared his concerns. Neji told him that he was simply thinking about it too much, but Lee sympathized with him.

"Sometimes I wish I had stayed a jounin to become a sensei. I could have inspired the youth of today just as Gai-sensei inspired me when I was impressionable," he sighed with distant longing.

"We don't need any more people to be 'inspired' to wear green leotards," Neji scoffed. Naruto doubled over with laughter and had to excuse himself to escape Lee's defence of his uniform.

When he had finally pulled away from the two men, Naruto turned towards the door and spotted a pink head enter the bar. Grinning from ear to ear, Naruto bounded across the room to greet the new arrival. "Sakura-chan!" he called and embraced her. She laughed at the childish greeting and hugged him back with equal strength.

"Sorry I'm late," she apologized as she extricated herself from his arms. "This was the earliest I was able to leave the hospital."

Naruto waved a hand at her apology, saying that he understood completely. "But you've got a lot of catching up to do. Ino was gone half an hour ago," he informed her with a smirk.

Even as he said this, Ino stood up at one of the booths and waved a half empty glass in her hand. "Sakuraaa! You made it! Come and have a drink with us!" she called over the commotion and struggled to stay steady of her feet.

The sake flowed like water from a spout. Naruto's head buzzed pleasantly as they sat with Ino and Shikamaru in one of the booths, exchanging stories and memories from their younger days. On several occasions, someone would project their voice to be heard over all the conversation and make a toast to Naruto. They toasted to his good health, to his future, to his fighting skills, and on one instance, to his happiness.

Even though his senses dulled with each drink he took, Naruto was acutely aware of Sakura's presence at his side. Whenever she spoke with Ino across the table, Naruto would glance down at the generous amount of leg her dress exposed. Once, he was sure that she had caught him looking, but she merely smirked at him and went on with her conversation.

People flit in and out of their table until Naruto was unsure of whom they had sat down with in the first place. Kiba slid into the booth at some point in the night, causing Naruto and Sakura to press side-by-side to make room. Naruto silently thanked Kiba for the intrusion. Another one of Kiba's wolfish grins slid onto his face as he put a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "What did I tell you, huh? It's a great party!" he yelled, and everyone within earshot agreed with cheers of their own.

They remained squeezed into the same space for a few minutes longer until Kiba's short attention span caused him to run off somewhere new. Naruto began to reluctantly scoot back to his original seat, but stopped with he felt a hand touch his thigh. Before his mind hand time to register what this meant, he felt Sakura lean in towards his ear.

"I'm going to step outside for a minute. My head is starting to spin," she murmured and removed her hand from his leg. "Plus, the smoke isn't helping much." Confused, Naruto looked across the table and saw that Shikamaru was halfway through a cigarette. He hadn't even noticed.

"Alright, I'll come with you," he offered. Sakura nodded as if that were the most natural thing in the world and slid out of the booth after him. Before Naruto told their booth-buddies where they were headed, he noticed that Shikamaru's arm was draped over Ino's shoulder—allowing his hand to lay dangerously close to her breast—and Ino's hand held onto his knee. He didn't think they would mind a bit of privacy.

Naruto guided them somewhat clumsily towards a side exit, and they stumbled out into the alley together. It was quiet and dark compared to the boisterous bar, and the air felt considerably cooler. Sakura took a deep breath of the night air and leaned against the side of the building. She attempted to fit a few loose stands of hair back into her braid before giving up with a sigh and undoing the entire thing. She wore her hair longer now and often times braided it so she would not have to fuss with it during her long hours at the hospital. Her pink locks hung an inch past her shoulders and framed her pale face so perfectly that Naruto had to resist the urge to reach out and touch them.

She caught him staring at her, but did not appear to be angry. "Quite a party in there," she commented and pulled her hair back so her neck could cool.

Naruto nodded and stepped in front of her. "I think Kiba got a little carried away with the guest list," he admitted and rubbed the back of his head.

"Oh nonsense," Sakura said and waved her hand. The motion was clumsy and disjointed. "You deserve it."

"I guess so."

Sakura shook her head at his humbleness and gave him a genuine smile. "I'm proud of you, you know? This is a big deal." As she said this, she placed a hand on his chest so that he would understand how sincere she was being.

When Naruto glanced down at her hand, something came loose in his chest. He felt a searing heat where her skin touched his shirt and a familiar feeling in his gut. If he had been thinking more clearly, Naruto would have recognized the signs and stopped himself before he said something stupid. But as it was, he was not thinking clearly, so he went ahead and did what he felt was right.

Closing his own hand around Sakura's, Naruto took a step closer to her so that their bodies were only inches apart. "I'm just glad you came. You're the only one I needed to be with," he admitted and placed a hand on her cheek. He felt her body tense in response to their proximity, but he didn't care. He had to do this.

Naruto tilted her head upward and leaned forward until their noses touched; he could feel the ghost of her lips against his. She looked at him with that same unreadable expression she had given him three years ago. For one terrible moment, he thought that she was going to pull away from him. Or even worse, that she would just stand there and take it without any feeling. But then something shifted. Sakura's eyes softened. Her body relaxed against the wall, and she let out a soft sigh that tickled his lips and sent shivers down his spine.

Without waiting another second, Naruto closed the small space between them and was relieved when he felt Sakura's lips press back. They kept their mouths closed, but so much intensity built up between them that Naruto heard himself groan in longing. His hands were immediately on her. They ran through her hair—it flowed free from its restraints—over her neck, down her back, and settled on her waist. She did not stop him, so he took it as a sign to continue.

Their lips met again and again with increasing intensity until Naruto found himself pushing his tongue out to meet hers in a sweet, slick embrace. His body pressed up against hers, flattening her between him and the wall. Trapped as she was, Sakura made a strained sound of discomfort and pushed against his chest. Naruto seemed to agree that this wasn't the best position.

Breathing heavily as he broke their kiss, Naruto moved his hands to grip the undersides of Sakura's thighs and lifted her so that they were eye-level with each other. She shifted and flushed in embarrassment. "N-Naruto . . ."

"Shh . . ." he cooed and leaned their foreheads together. The simple touch instantly calmed her. Naruto kissed her again, sucking on her tongue and bottom lip, doing anything to taste more of her. Sakura seemed to welcome the touch and adjusted her position to take the weight off his hands. Her legs wrapped around his hips. Her hands gripped his blond hair.

It wasn't long before Naruto's hands continued their inspection. They ran up and down her bare thighs, pushing the material of her dress back so that he could touch as much skin as possible. She squirmed slightly in his touch, but made no other objection. His hands slid down to cup her backside and pull her closer to him. Another sigh left her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pressed against him.

Naruto loved that sound. He wanted to hear her make it again. He wanted to make her moan and whimper and breath his name into his ear. So he got a little carried away. His mouth kissed along her jaw, his teeth nipping along its underside. She gasped and held tighter. Slowly tracing the curves of her body, his hands slid over her hips and torso to pause right below her breasts. He kissed her lips one more time before running his palms over them and squeezing gently. Sakura gasped. Though her breasts were small, they were still soft and wonderful.

"Naruto . . ." she whispered, sounding nervous and unsure.

He kissed her again to reassure her before trailing his mouth down her neck. His hands played with her breasts, lifting and rubbing and squeezing them to his heart's content. Sakura made another whimper of discomfort, but he ignored it. The feeling must have been new to her; she would need a few minutes to adjust. His mouth dropped lower and lower until he began kissing what little cleavage she had. He pressed her breasts together to make the mounds more defined and ran his tongue over one arch.

"Naruto." Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard the change in her tone. He heard how she had become serious and warning. He felt her push against his chest. But he did not care. He was in bliss. One hand pulled her dress down while the other slipped into her bra to bring the breast into his mouth.

"Naruto!" she screamed and punched him square in the nose. He heard an audible crunch.

Blinded by pain and tears, Naruto released her and stumbled backwards, clutching his nose the entire time. He felt her weight disappear from his hips and neck and guessed that she had managed to untangle herself in time to avoid falling to the ground with him. Cursing as he tried to stop the bleeding, Naruto opened his eyes to see Sakura quickly pull her clothes back into place. Anger suddenly replaced his lust.

"Gah! Sakura, what the hell!" he hissed in a strained whisper so he wouldn't alert all the people on the other side of the wall.

Sakura fixed her eyes on the ground and pulled her dress back over her thighs so that her panties were no longer visible. "I warned you. I wanted you to stop," she said, shaken and disoriented.

"But you never said 'stop'! What was I supposed to—"

"You should have known!" she snapped back at him, silencing him in an instant. "I was uncomfortable and you knew it. Yet you kept going," she pulled her dress higher over her chest and looked away from him. In the dim light, he could see tears swell at the rim of her eyes.

Naruto's anger melted away. Oh God, what had he done now? Still holding his nose, he reached towards her, a sincere apology in his eyes. "Sakura . . . I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to . . ." he broke off. What exactly did he mean to do? He hadn't meant to upset her, that much was true. But he _had_ wanted to touch her. He wanted her to be completely his—if only for a moment—and he would have taken her right then and there if she would have allowed it to go on for that long. But she had not wanted the same thing, and that, more than anything, hurt.

She was quiet for a moment as if she was trying to decide if she should accept his pathetic apology. Then she stood with difficulty and dusted the dirt off her clothes. "I think I need to go home," she whispered.

"No, Sakura! Please, just wait. I'm sorry—"

"Good night, Naruto." She started walking. "And I'm sorry about your nose," she called over her shoulder before rounding the corner. But she must not have been too sorry because she didn't stop to fix it.

Naruto groaned and clutched the sides of his head, willing the world to stop spinning long enough for him to sort out this mess. He sat brooding over his rejection and stupidity until the pain from his nose could no longer be ignored. His hands gently patted the sensitive area to try and determine which way it had been broken and how he needed to snap it back into place. Once he thought he had it figured out, he pulled it hard to the right and cursed as a new wave of pain washed over him. It wasn't long before he felt the Kyuubi's chakra begin to take care of the rest.

He sat out in the alley longer than he would have cared to admit. The voices coming from inside the bar were too jovial for his distraught mood, and he could not force himself to face them just yet. So he waited until the noise died down to wipe the blood from his face and quietly re-enter from the side door. The bright lights and cheerful laughs both blinded and deafened him, and he stood at the door in a daze until Kiba—or at least he thought it was Kiba—grasped him by the shoulder.

"Naruto, where have you been? You missed it! I swear I saw Tenten come out of the bathroom with—Jesus, what happened to you?" he asked when he noticed Naruto's appearance.

Naruto shrugged, lacking the energy and the will to repeat what had just transpired. "I think I'm just going to head home. Thanks for the party," he said with as big of a smile as he could muster before exiting the bar.

The cool night air helped to sober him up as he walked back to his apartment. With a strange sense of irony, he realized that his walk of shame was eerily similar to his walk home three years prior. He tried not to think about it. He was too emotionally drained to reflect on any part of the night. All he wanted to do was sleep until Tsunade summoned him to the Hokage tower to pick up his new uniform and go through initiation. And surely that wouldn't be for another three days. After all, she had assured him that unless an emergency came up, he would have plenty of time to rest before he was given his first mission.

With the prospect of sleep his only comforting thought, Naruto arrived at his apartment door and fished around in his pockets for his keys. As he slid the key into the lock, Naruto noticed that an envelope had been tacked to his door. His curiosity peaking, Naruto opened the letter and immediately recognized Tsunade's handwriting.

_Be at my office at 8:00 a.m. sharp. I have something to discuss with you._

Naruto's head hit the door, all the happiness slowly draining out of him. Wonderful.

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><p>To be continued . . .<p> 


	3. Departure

**Author's Note: **A special thanks goes out to my Beta, Floating On A Thought and also the band Mumford & Sons, without whom this story would not be possible. Read, review, and enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 3: Departure<strong>

Naruto tried his best to act professional as he sat in Tsunade's office. He tried to appear interested in their small talk. He tried to pretend that his head did not feel as if someone was slowly pounding an ice-pick against it with every subtle noise. He tried, but by the look on Tsunade's face, he was sure that he failed.

The space between the Hokage's eyebrows narrowed as she scrutinized her newest member of the ANBU. Her hazel eyes ran over his tired face, his disheveled hair, his slumping posture. If she had any concerns about his well being she did not voice them. Instead, she let out a long sigh and tapped on her cheek.

"I suppose there is no point in beating around the bush so early in the morning. I might as well tell you why I summoned you here," she mused before adopting a more serious air.

Naruto straightened in his seat. Finally. Behind his annoyance with the early summons and pounding headache, he had been curious as to why Tsunade called him. After all, she had already stated that she would not send for him unless it was an emergency. And she did not use the term lightly.

Tsunade allowed a short silence to transpire, as if the topic they were about to discuss demanded some sort of respectful prequel. The older woman closed her eyes, sighed again, and then fixed her eyes on Naruto with a hard stare. Silence . . . and then:

"Uchiha Itachi is dead."

Naruto's headache vanished. His eyes widened and he sat completely erect in his seat, all traces of weariness gone. A quiet understanding passed between him and the Hokage as the full implications of her words finally dawned on him; his heart started hammering in his chest. Adrenaline coursed through his veins.

"Where?" he finally asked. His tone was even despite the fact that his nails began to dig into the wood of his armrests.

Tsunade leaned forward in her chair—her massive chest sat atop her desk, but Naruto did not notice—and lowered her voice, wary to reveal such information even in their secured location. "Twenty miles north of the village. His body was found mangled and burned by a sentry late last night, and they sent word as fast as they could," she explained.

Naruto felt the wood under his fingers crack, but paid it no mind. "So close . . ."

Tsunade nodded in agreement. "Indeed. It is my humble opinion that Itachi may have chosen to station himself relatively close to the village when he was not otherwise engaged. Perhaps he hoped that his proximity to his old home would cause his deserter of a brother to hesitate in his hunt." She steepled her fingers and tried to discern if her words had caused any changes in Naruto's expression. They did not. "And perhaps he was right. This occurred much later than we anticipated."

Naruto nodded slowly, his eyes fixed on his lap. It was a struggle for his mind to stay in the room with Tsunade. Already he imagined the scene. Two tall, dark-headed men stood across from each other, weapons drawn, bodies tense. One glared with a deep rooted hate. The other stared ahead passively, no emotion in his red, swirling eyes. Naruto forcibly pulled himself back into reality. He needed to pay attention. All this information would prove to be crucial later on.

Once he had finally calmed his mind to the point where he was able to think coherently, Naruto asked the question that had been pressing in his mind ever since Tsunade had mentioned Itachi's name. "Can we assume that this was done at Sasuke's hand?" It pained him to say his name so freely, but it would be impossible to avoid it any longer.

Tsunade nodded and sat straight in her chair. "I think we must. A very basic autopsy showed internal damage from lightning-natured chakra, as well as scorch marks, and several stab wounds from a katana," she informed him with a meaningful look. "Even if these things were absent, I would still be inclined to suspect him, as I know you would, too."

So this was it, then. Sasuke had finally shown himself. Naruto's skin itched with anticipation, and a tainted joy filled his heart. At long last he had a lead to Sasuke's whereabouts. He was closer to the village than he had been in years, and Naruto was stronger than he had ever been. This time, there would be no room for error. This time, he would catch Sasuke when he was weak, break through his defenses, and drag him back to Konoha where he belonged.

A reckless determination burned in Naruto's eyes, but he managed to keep the rest of his face passive. The wood of the armrests creaked and threatened to break in his grip. A silence stretched out between the two ninja. They needed no words, for they both knew what must be done.

Tsunade allowed the silence to transpire for a few minutes, letting Naruto grasp the entire weight of the situation, and then said, "You set out tonight, one hour before dusk."

Naruto's head snapped up to look at her straight on. Confusion replaced the fire in his eyes. "A solo mission?"

Tsunade raised a blond eyebrow. "Would you rather have a squad? Are you not confident in your abilities?" she asked in a shrewd tone.

Shaking his head, Naruto tried to explain himself. "No, no, it's just . . . all the other missions, I've been placed on a team of at least three or four, and—" he stopped when Tsunade raised one delicate finger.

"_That_ was a long time ago. You are not the same boy who blindly chased his companion into the woods. You are more than capable of completing this task. And, if I may be frank, it is time to end this." Tsunade pulled herself up regally in her chair and regarded Naruto with a cool, calculating gaze. Anger burned inside Naruto. He opened his mouth to protest, to tell her that that was exactly what he was trying to do, but she raised a hand to silence him.

"Listen to me, Naruto. You will not get another chance like this," she explained and looked him straight in the eye. "Sasuke is undoubtedly weak from his battle with Itachi. We have reason to speculate that he is traveling alone. He has just accomplished his most important goal. He will be careless in his victory." She leaned forward, her gaze unwavering, and stressed the importance of her words with all of her being. "This may be the only chance we have. If we allow him to escape again, the trail will go cold . . . for good. After the death of his brother, he has no other connection to Konoha, and will most likely avoid it at all costs."

Naruto nodded, reluctantly accepting the inevitability of her words. Every time he had set out to retrieve Sasuke, Naruto had always known that _this_ time would be the last time . . . and yet, there had always been another time. Now that he was faced with the cold truth that this really was the last time, his blood ran cold and everything seemed to adopt a new degree of clarity. There would be no room for mistakes this time. It was all or nothing.

When Naruto's focus returned to the room from his inward meditations, Tsunade continued. "This has gone on for far too long," she said with a sigh and held her weary head in one of her hands. Her age and exhaustion with the world shined through her youthful face, making her appear her true age. Naruto found it strangely fitting. "It is time we finished this. This burden takes a heavy toll on you, Naruto. I have been a witness to it." Here she grew even more serious and looked at him with something close to pity. "I have seen your body grow and your smile fade. I have seen the sadness in your eyes, thinly veiled behind a mask of determination. I know you hurt, and while this may not all have to do with Sasuke, I can image that he is the source of a great deal of it."

Naruto kept his eyes down, knowing her words to be true but refusing to admit any such thing. Undaunted by his silence, Tsunade continued, "I have seen Sakura suffer as well." At the mention of Sakura's name, Naruto's head immediately shot up to face Tsunade head on. "Though sometimes I feel that she has suffered two-fold. Once for the loss of Sasuke . . . and once for the loss of you to the obsession of finding him." She pierced him with her hard gaze and unwanted guilt sprang up inside of him. Naruto pushed the feeling away.

Sakura had not lost him. He had always been there for her, no matter what the cost. And who was it that had had their heart stomped on several times, huh? He was pretty sure that it wasn't Sakura.

Tsunade must have sensed his change in demeanor, for she quickly changed the subject. "But I do not pretend to know Sakura's feelings. I just speculate," she explained and leaned back into her chair again. "Now on to more concrete matters, like the details of your mission."

Tsunade dropped a folder in front of Naruto, and he idly leafed through it as she explained his assignment. He was to infiltrate a small town that Sasuke was likely to take shelter in, track him down, and bring him back to Konoha alive to stand trial. Simple enough. It was nothing he hadn't heard before. Only one thing bothered him.

"Stand trial? But I thought you had already worked out the terms of his return," Naruto said with a frown.

Again, Tsunade appeared to be very tired. "The terms that you and I worked out three years ago may not be enough to appease the council." Naruto fumed and began to argue, but Tsunade raised a hand to silence him. "This cannot be helped. Sasuke committed treason, a very serious crime with very serious circumstances. I will do my best to shield him from the worst punishments, but he will not escape unscathed," Tsunade said, but her response did little to quench Naruto's anger.

"You'll 'do your best'? What if that's not good enough? What if the council decides to hang him or torture him for information? I won't bring him back just to die!" Naruto exclaimed, half-rising out of his chair.

The gap between Tsunade's brows narrowed as she slammed her fist on her desk; the wood creaked under her strength. "He will _not_ die! That much I can guarantee . . . but prison . . . prison, he cannot escape."

The silences between them seemed to dominate their meeting. Naruto clenched his fists; his body trembled from contained emotions. His logic told him that Tsunade was right. There wasn't always a happy ending. Sasuke had committed a crime, treason no less, and he would have to be held accountable for his actions, just like any other shinobi. But it didn't seem fair. To him, Sasuke wasn't just some criminal. He was his friend, and somehow, that excused all of his atrocities.

"Naruto . . ." Tsunade said in such a gentle tone that it shook him from his thoughts. "Life will not be easy for Sasuke once he returns. Things will not be the same. I hope you realize this."

Naruto nodded solemnly. Often he had wondered if bringing Sasuke back to Konoha was the best decision. After all, Sasuke had left on his own free will. He had showed no signs of remorse towards his actions and seemed to have nothing but disdain for the thought of returning to his village. Was he really doing the right thing by bringing Sasuke home? Was it justice, or was he selfishly condemning a man to a fate worse than death because he could not let go of a childhood friendship?

Tsunade seemed to read his thoughts. "Are you sure that you want to go through with this knowing all the circumstances? Is this what you wish to accomplish, Naruto?" she asked him gently, acting as his friend rather than his Hokage, just as she had done from the very beginning.

Uncertainty briefly clouded his mind. It gripped him with its briary hands and stifled his conviction. A montage of images flashed through his mind. He saw a young Sakura crying at the gates of Konoha. He saw Sasuke's red eyes in the instant before his chidori ripped through his chest. He saw Sasuke's passive expression as he regarded them with cool indifference three years later. And finally he remembered all the training he had undergone for this very reason and the old picture that he still kept in his bedroom. The answer was obvious once again.

"I'm sure," he replied with all the conviction in the world.

Tsunade nodded as if she expected nothing less and reached below her desk. When straightened, she placed a standard ANBU uniform next to the folder. A painted mask of a grinning fox lay atop the clothing. When Tsunade noticed Naruto's eyes inspecting the mask, she smirked and asked, "I find it to be rather fitting, don't you?"

Naruto couldn't help but smile in response. It was darkly amusing.

"I apologize that you were not able to be inducted properly, but with the current situation, I see no way around it," she said and stood.

Following her lead, Naruto stood and assured her, "You know me. Ceremonies aren't really a big deal."

Tsunade nodded and walked around her desk to stand in front of him. "Of course. But the least I can do is give you the tattoo."

Naruto furrowed his brow in confusion. They hardly had time for him to get a tattoo done. Plus, it would leave his arm irritated and limit his mobility. When he expressed his concerns, Tsunade laughed and explained that the 'tattoo' was not really a tattoo at all, but a seal. While he mulled this new information over, she had him remove his vest and long-sleeved undershirt. Tsunade's face became serious as she concentrated her chakra and preformed several hand seals. Her right hand shot forward and slammed against Naruto's left bicep.

The chakra she poured over his skin burned, and he hissed through his teeth in response. But as soon as the pain came, it vanished, leaving behind a black swirl. Naruto raised his arm to inspect it closer, and Tsunade walked behind her desk once again.

"I'm kind of disappointed. I was looking forward to getting it done," he joked, though there was a little truth behind his words.

Tsunade shook her head and placed a small vile onto the desk. "Take this once you get home. It will alleviate the headache that you surely have and allow you to get a few hours of sleep before you set out," she instructed him. Naruto was caught off-guard by her insight, and she scoffed at his bewildered expression. "Please, a seasoned sake drinker like myself could spot a hangover a mile away. I need you to perform at your best. Go home, get some sleep, and leave one hour before sundown. This should give you enough time to get to the village by dark so that you won't make a scene when you infiltrate Sasuke's hideout," she said and folded her hands in front of her. Her dismissal was clear.

Once Naruto had pulled his clothes back in order, he inclined his head and responded, "Understood, Hokage-sama." With that, he scooped up the folder, uniform, and vile in his arms and turned to exit her office.

When his hand touched the door knob, she called for him one more time and he turned back to face her. "Good luck. Jiraiya would be proud," she said, her face professional but her words sincere.

Naruto smiled softly at the praise and felt a wave of nostalgia pass over him. "Thank you, baa-chan," he said with a toothy grin and shut the door behind him before he had to endure her fit of outrage.

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><p>Tsunade hadn't been kidding about that medication she had given him. He had six hours of undisturbed sleep and awoke rejuvenated with his hangover completely gone. But his good mood was soon tainted by the prospect of what he was preparing to do. He ate a quick meal, but had difficulty stomaching it. When he could do nothing else to relieve his anxiety, he changed into his ANBU uniform, strapping on the arm and shin guards with a sense of unreality. All his training had led to this very moment. Everything came down to this.<p>

An hour still remained before he needed to leave the village, and Naruto was at a loss for how to spend his time. He sat on the edge of his bed and turned the painted mask over in his hands. The fox leered up at him, laughing at his troubled conscience. He scowled down in response.

He knew that Tsunade had meant no disrespect by giving him the mask, but he could not help but feel frustrated by once again being labeled by the demon that he housed. Now all his victims would see before passing into the void would be the grinning face of the fox, not his face. From now on, he would have no face. People would see his mask and be reminded of the demon, not the man.

But, Naruto realized with a sigh, this was not so different from his childhood. Until he had proven himself multiple times to the village, the adults had viewed him as nothing more than a monster. But their perceptions changed with time. He would simply have to prove himself once more. Perhaps that had been Tsunade's intention, to force him to accept the presence of the demon inside him and carry on in the face of prejudice. Regardless of her implied meaning, Naruto was in no mood to solve riddles, and he quickly put the thoughts out of his mind.

To distract himself from the unwavering gaze of the mask, Naruto began assembling his weapons. He took special care with each deadly tool, carefully packing them away so that he could make the most out of his limited space. As he placed his last weapon into his holster—a three pronged kunai with an inscription on the handle—Naruto glanced at his clock to check the hour. Almost time.

Before he exited his room, Naruto stopped by his bedside table and gingerly picked up an old, worn wooden picture frame. He brought the frame close to his face, carefully inspecting the familiar picture nestled inside. The youthful faces of his teammates stared up at him, oblivious to the misfortunes that were to befall them. If only he could return to that state of innocence, grinning foolishly and bragging to anyone who would listen. But that could never happen. Life moved on, and things would never again be like they had been in his genin days. He reminded himself of this fact every time he looked at Sasuke's prepubescent face.

Expelling the thoughts from his mind, Naruto gently set the picture frame down but continued to stare despite himself. A long moment passed. "Maybe I'll see you soon, Sasuke. I wonder how much you've changed," he mused to himself before finally wrenching his eyes away from the photo. When he checked the clock again, he noticed that it was time to depart. Without further delay, he adorned his mask and crouched on his window sill. It was bad luck to leave for a mission through the front door.

As soon as the mask covered his features, Naruto fell into a different persona. His gaze was cool and calculated, shadowed behind the two horizontal slits. He felt his emotions sink deep within him and his instinct rise to take their place. So this was what it meant to be ANBU. To be emotionless. A mask with no face or soul. The feeling made him uneasy.

Naruto gripped the strong wood that supported his weight. With a sense of closure, he gazed out at his village that was bathed in the orange-hued light of day's final hours. The wind tickled the exposed skin on his upper arms, and children's laughter drifted up to him from the streets. It had occurred to him that he may not return from this mission, but the thought was fleeting and unbearable. As a ninja, Naruto was well acquainted with thoughts of death. When he was a child, the thoughts had barely troubled him, but as he grew older, he found himself contemplating them more and more often. He had seen many good men fall in the heat of battle and sometimes marveled at the fact that he had escaped death's cold embrace for so long. He accredited much of this to luck but knew that his desire to live was far too strong to allow anything or anyone to take his life without a fight. There was no way he would die before he finished his goals, which were all still out of his reach.

Taking a deep breath to clear his head—so many heavy subjects in one day—Naruto leaned forward in his crouch and focused his chakra to his feet. When the pressure in his legs built to the point of bursting, Naruto pushed off and shot across the roofs with blinding speed. He continued at this pace until he reached the gates of Konoha, where he skidded to a stop. The immense gates loomed over him, overshadowing him with their colossal presence. A faint smile touched his lips as he remembered leaving them for the first time. Now it could be his last.

Closing his eyes tightly, Naruto turned around to take in one last view of his village. He knew that it was unlucky to look back, but he could not help it. The compulsion was too great. But when he opened his eyes, the scene did not appear as he expected. There was one person too many.

"Sakura?"

Sakura stood several feet away, her hands clasped in front of her. A look of mild shock crossed her face when she beheld his mask, but she quickly covered it with a soft smile. "Hello, Naruto."

Her shock struck a chord somewhere deep in his chest—or was it his stomach—and Naruto quickly removed the mask so he could talk to her face-to-face. A weight seemed to be lifted off his shoulders when his face was revealed, and he was once again vulnerable to the world and his emotions. He stared at her for a moment, wondering how he had not seen her on his way to the gate.

There were many things that Naruto wanted to say to Sakura—"I'm sorry," "Don't hate me," "I love you," "I'm doing this for you"—but all he could manage to say was, "What are you doing here?"

Instead of being insulted by his question, Sakura merely smiled. "Tsunade-shishou told me about your mission. I thought I would wish you luck," she explained, her tone gentle and cautious.

Despite her tone and expression, Naruto felt dismayed by her response. He hated how she could not speak to him casually. Now she had to be on her guard, else he took advantage of her again. But she had still come, but not for him. She came because he was connected to Sasuke, or so he thought. "I see," he murmured and was surprised to find that he was able to convey all his unhappiness through those two little words.

Sakura's smile faltered, and then her entire expression crumbled to reveal a face that looked about as miserable as he felt. She stepped towards him, her hands clasped at her chest in a pleading gesture. "Naruto . . ." she began, paused, and then continued walking towards him. "That is not the only reason I came. You know that, don't you?" How could he know? She had been a mystery to him since they were eight.

When it became apparent that he was not going to respond to her, she continued, "I wanted to apologize for last night. I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

Naruto's eyes widened, and he immediately began to disagree. "Sakura, no! I shouldn't have put you in that sort of situation in the first place," he argued.

She lifted a hand to silence him. "Let me finish," she said and came to a stop in front of him. "I knew what was going to happen the moment we stepped outside together. I could've told you 'no' when you said you'd come with me. But I didn't. I could have stopped it early. But I didn't. I was strong enough to push you away. But I didn't. Maybe I wanted it, too . . . I don't know." She shook her head and furrowed her brow in concentration. Naruto held his breath the whole time, nervous and yet excited to hear more. "But in any case, I wasn't thinking clearly, and I overreacted like I always do. And I hurt you in the process," she apologized, and by the look on her face, Naruto could tell that she meant both emotionally and physically. "I'm sorry. I didn't do it intentionally."

Naruto stared down at her in bewilderment. Her words ran through his mind again and again, but no matter how many times he analyzed them, he could find no solid traces of any deeper emotion than regret.

Undaunted by his silence, she continued, "I've been thinking about it all day, and when Tsunade-shishou said that you were leaving . . . I knew that I had to talk with you. In case you—"

"In case I didn't come back?" he asked seriously. She seemed appalled by his answer.

"Of course not! In case you felt the same way. I didn't want you to have it on your conscience," she explained. Her face looked even paler than normal, and he wondered with a little bit of panic if his inference had only given her more to worry about.

"It's fine, Sakura. I don't deserve your apology," he murmured and looked to the ground, ashamed for all the trouble he had caused her.

Sakura scowled and put a hand under his chin to force him to look at her. "Yes, you do," she assured him. "We were drunk. We made bad decisions. It is not one person's fault, so don't shoulder the blame for this like you do with everything else." Her hostility surprised him, but it helped him realize that she wasn't just saying this to ease his guilt.

A soft smile touched his lips as he looked down at her, and Sakura soon adopted the same expression. "Thank you, Sakura-chan," he whispered, once again adopting the old suffix.

She shook her head at his formality and hugged him tightly. The wind came rushing out of Naruto's lungs; her strength never ceased to surprise him. They stood like this for a long moment, and just when Naruto was going to pull away for fear of lingering, she pulled him tighter.

"You're going to be fine on this mission," she murmured uneasily, and he realized just how shaken she was. "You'll find him this time, I know you will. Everything will be fine." It sounded as if she was trying to reassure herself rather than him, but he didn't voice his suspicions. Instead, he just enjoyed the moment for what it was. He closed his eyes at the feeling of her body pressed against his—more of a comforting feeling than sexual. He dipped his nose down and sniffed her hair. She smelled like hospital fumes and cherry blossoms.

They exchanged much in their silence. Mutual hurt, hope, and anxiety, his love, her friendship. It was more than they were capable of expressing through words. After another moment like this, Sakura began to pull away, and Naruto reluctantly mirrored her actions. They smiled at each other. Sakura touched his cheek, which made him smile more.

And then she was moving closer. Naruto's heart pounded in his chest, and he wondered for a silly second if Sakura could hear it beating. As her face drew closer, time seemed to slow down. He was acutely aware of the softness of her hand and the gentle curl of her eyelashes and the scent that filled his nose once again. And then, the moment he had been anticipating did not come, and she kissed him on the cheek. "Good luck. Be safe," she whispered in his ear; he could feel the tickle of her breath against his skin. And then she pulled away, and time sped up again.

Disappointed as he was, Naruto knew when to take a gift when it was presented to him, and he smiled back in gratitude. "Thanks again, Sakura," he said and fit his mask back onto his face. "I should be going. But I'll be back. With Sasuke. That's a promise."

Her smile faltered but quickly recovered. "You don't need to make me any more promises," she murmured. It took him a moment to understand what she was talking about.

"Goodbye, Sakura," he said and turned to leave before he could say anything else that he would regret. He caught her whispered reply and sped through the gates of Konoha towards his destination. Normally, Naruto found the time spent traveling tedious and boring, but this time, that was not the case. Sakura had given him much to think about.

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><p>To be continued . . .<p> 


	4. Reconnaissance

**Chapter 4: Reconnaissance**

Soft pine needles crushed underneath his heel as Naruto dropped to the ground. His chest rose and fell at a steady rate, his breath coming in quick rasps. The flight to the small village of Harahoku had taken him a little over an hour, and he was satisfied with the time he had made. Naruto lifted his head to look at the sky through the canopy of the trees. A deep orange from the west mixed with a hazy gray and deep blue. Darkness was quickly descending.

Taking a moment to check that his surroundings were clear, Naruto walked over to a nearby tree trunk, gathered his chakra to his right hand, and struck the tree with his open palm. A line of kanji appeared, and Naruto thought back to a similar line that he had placed on a branch five minutes outside of Konoha. He inspected the line—as he had with the other—confirmed that it was correct, and then turned back towards the direction of Harahoku. If his sense of direction was correct, and normally it was, then he was only a few minutes outside of the village. He could already begin to notice the trees thinning, giving way to rolling hills and plains.

Harahoku was a small farming village five miles north of the speculated location of Itachi's death. Much of the food that was sold in Konoha's markets was grown there. It was a quiet town full of women and children and civilians who didn't cause anybody any trouble. And now a criminal was being housed in their midst. Some of their surrounding forest areas or farmland had probably already been destroyed during Sasuke's blood bath with his brother. For the village's sake, Naruto hoped that his conflict with Sasuke could be settled quickly and nonviolently, otherwise the humble buildings and delicate fields would be ripped to shreds in a matter of minutes. The last time he and Sasuke had seriously fought, they had damaged a mountain-side and nearly destroyed the base of a monument. And they had both gotten much stronger in the meantime.

Once again glancing at the darkening sky, Naruto set out at a much slower pace. He had arrived ahead of schedule and did not like the idea of emerging from the woods under anything but complete darkness.

As he slowly made his way towards the village, Naruto recounted his journey. For the first half of his trip, Naruto's mind had been completely engrossed with thoughts of Sakura. He replayed their interaction over and over again in his mind, but could glean no more valuable information from it than he already had. It heartened him to know that Sakura bore him no hatred for his actions, but at the same time, he wished that she had shown some sort of affection towards him to let him know that his feelings for her were not just white noise. He realized that he was asking for a great deal, but still . . . he had to hope.

For what had to be the hundredth time, Naruto replayed their last words to each other. He smelled her hair and felt the ghost of her body against him and the cool, wet mark of her lips on his cheek. He shook his head. The kiss, of all things, should have told him her true feelings towards him. Its meaning had been obvious. A kiss because a hug was not enough to show that she truly forgave him. The cheek because the lips were too romantic. A kiss because she knew it would appease him long enough to complete his mission. The cheek because she did not want him to misread her intentions. A kiss because she loved him. The cheek because she loved him like a brother.

For the next half of the journey, Naruto's mind began to delve into his memories of Sasuke. Normally this was a topic that Naruto avoided, especially within his own mind, but somehow the current situation seemed to warrant these thoughts. He remembered hating Sasuke for the longest time, shouting insults at him across the training field, playing practical jokes on him—all of which were unsuccessful—and just being an all around ass towards him. Sasuke had responded by ignoring his existence, save for an occasional degrading comment on his skills, or lack-there-of, and being an all around ass. But they had learned to live with each other and enjoy each other's presence despite themselves and their bitter rivalry.

He remembered being happy and smiling and feeling like he was full of light. And now . . . well, he just wasn't. Even though he hated to admit it, Tsunade had been right about him; his body had grown, but his smile had faded. But what was he supposed to do? Laugh about how his best friend had given up his soul for power, how he had nearly died trying to get him back? Or even worse, should he just forget about Sasuke? Hell no! He'd rather die.

And it was because of that reason—that passion that still fueled him—that Naruto knew that he had not completely lost himself over the years. As long as he fought for what he believed in with all his heart, as long as he followed his path of the shinobi, he could never lose himself.

Of course, he had lost some part of him when Sasuke had left. They had been so close to each other—brothers in everything but blood—that it would have been impossible to feel whole after he left.

Pushing both Sakura and Sasuke to the back of his mind, Naruto recalled what had finally shaken him from his earlier thoughts of them. He remembered coming across the first signs of what had to be the great battle between the last of the Uchihas.

It was their chakra that notified him at first. That fiery, dark chakra that was tinted with hints of a demonic nature. Each brother's core energy varied from the others, but the basic essence of each was fundamentally the same. No matter how much Sasuke wished to deny it, he could not escape his ties to his brother. Their chakra seemed to permeate the entire area; it was so strong that Naruto doubted that even a rookie shinobi could pass the area without noticing.

When he surveyed the area to try and glean a little information regarding their struggle, Naruto found several deep gauges in a cluster of trees. Blood had also been smeared across one of the bases. Naruto ran his hand over the wood wounds, deciding that the marks had been made by a katana of some sort. Memories of a thin blade slicing the air and striking in his general direction descended upon him, but he quickly pushed them away. That was Sasuke's blade alright.

Straightening himself, Naruto continued to evaluate the scene. It must have been quite a battle. Whole sections of verdant forest had been blackened and charred, or even turned to ash in some places, no doubt due to a fire jutsu of unfathomable intensity.

Though he did not know the condition of Itachi's body—or if a body remained—Naruto knew that the land was the biggest casualty that day. The once grass and tree-covered landscape lay torn open, gouged by a formidable jutsu, bleeding dirt in large clumps. Naruto could only imagine how much this forest would suffer on a whim of two brothers. It was always humbling to realize how powerful his advisories were. Trees were shattered by mere punches, craters made by one chidori—his chest suddenly ached—and a whole bloodline wiped out by a single man.

A shiver ran down his spine. Time to keep moving.

Though he searched the area for over an hour, Naruto could find no sign of Itachi's body. This didn't trouble him too terribly. Tsunade had mentioned the possibility of another squad retrieving the body by the time he would arrive at the scene. Still, he doubled checked the area to make sure that he didn't just leave the body of an S-ranked criminal due to some kind of inattentiveness on his part. Inwardly, Naruto was secretly glad that he did not have to deal with the cumbersome burden of a body. He could not have any added disadvantages if he were to have any prayer of bringing Sasuke back alive.

The cover of darkness finally made it possible for Naruto to slip into the village. A simple black traveling cloak covered his distinctive ANBU attire. A large hood cast his mask in shadows. With any luck, he would blend in to his surroundings seamlessly, a silent shadow passing by without so much of a glance from passersby. So this was what meant to be ANBU. To be invisible, an extension of darkness.

Cloaking his presence, Naruto effortlessly sidled into the village. During his brief reconnaissance, Naruto located three separate lodges that could possibly house his target. The first was shabby and inconspicuous, but it was relatively small. Naruto passed it without much consideration. Sasuke wouldn't stay in a building that looked as if it would fall over if a strong wind buffeted its walls. Besides, he doubted Sasuke's pride could withstand staying in such a hovel, even in such a bad condition.

The second, in comparison, was too grand. The host at the front desk would most likely turn his nose up at a wounded guest and ask too many questions. Sasuke didn't need luxury; he needed cover.

As he approached the third and final lodge, Naruto began to wonder if Sasuke would even consider staying in such an obvious location. His injuries—for he couldn't have possibly escaped that fight unscathed—would have to be taken into account. Sasuke needed a place to recover. All hospitals were out of the question. Naruto knew from experience that if a victim with incredibly tricky wounds was transferred to a hospital that could not naturally heal the injuries, a medic nin from a surrounding village would be called. The closest village was Konoha.

But Sasuke would survive without a hospital. All he really needed was a bottle of liquor to clean and numb any lacerations, bandages, sustenance, and a proper bed. So that ruled out the forest. Putting it bluntly, unless Sasuke took refuge in the guest bedroom of one of the local's houses, it was doubtful that he was anywhere besides the final lodge.

The third lodge was sturdy, yet modest. He could tell just by looking at it that it offered the basic comforts according to the standard order of hygiene. It was the perfect place for a downtrodden shinobi to nurse his wounds in comfort and solitude . . . for the right price.

Naruto walked past the lodge without so much as a second glance, continued down the street, and then turned into a dismal alley where he stopped to take in his surroundings. He hadn't seen anyone on the street, but even so, he couldn't be too careful. Doing one more check to make sure he was alone, Naruto created five kage bunshins. Their excess bulk quickly made the already small alley quite crowded.

Over the years, Naruto had perfected his jutsu that had often given him the label of a "one trick pony." In his opinion, if the trick was versatile and useful, why would he need more than one? It had made it possible for him to complete missions originally designated for four person teams—and sometimes more—all by himself. For this jutsu wasn't only good for combat, but infiltration, information gathering, and deceitfully surrounding an enemy, all of which he would need tonight.

Though Naruto was no master of genjutsu, he could certainly pull off a stunt that would fool any common civilian. Consequently, he used genjutsu quite often for a person of his caliber. The first two clones he disguised as a couple in their early thirties, mostly because it was probable that two people their age would be out at a time like this. The third clone he disguised as a grungy looking older man. He had seen a few other homeless people in the small town already—sad, but true—so he was sure that his presence wouldn't alarm anyone. Plus, he needed a set of eyes that wouldn't have to walk up and down the streets, but could remain in one spot without garnering too much attention. The other two were left in their original forms and were sent three hundred feet from either side of the inn. They would act as his scouts later on in the mission, but for now, they needed to keep a respectable distance from the inn so as not to gain any unwanted attention. Besides, if Sasuke managed to escape, perhaps he could manage to cut him off early. In reality, Naruto knew that one clone would not be enough to stop him, but perhaps it would slow him down, if only for a second.

After taking a deep breath, Naruto performed a small genjutsu on himself. Only after it was completed did he dare to remove his mask, revealing the face of a plain looking woman in her mid-forties. In Naruto's experience, civilians found women much less conspicuous than men. Plus, the less striking a woman was, the less likely it was for another civilian—particularly, a male—to recognize her. He changed the appearance of his stature and hands as well, but left the rest of his body untouched. The large traveling cloak he wore hid any other anatomical differences between a man and a woman. And besides, he would be far too preoccupied with his other tasks to keep a full illusion in place.

When he believed that a considerable amount of time had passed since he first walked by the inn, Naruto verified the location of each of his clones, acknowledged that they were each in their designated areas, and exited the opposite end of the alley from which he entered. Even if he had not noticed any scouts, it was better to be over cautious than ill-prepared. After making a turn around the block, Naruto headed back towards the inn at a casual pace. Hardly any people were out at this time of night, and the few that passed him on the streets paid him no mind. They were too engrossed in their own conversations or too focused on making their way back to their homes that they had little time to spare to an unattractive stranger. Perfect.

The wooden door was surprisingly heavy for such a small place. Naruto's delicate female hands gripped the door handle and pulled back with restrained strength. It was odd how the smallest things, such as opening a door, could give away someone's true identity. His illusion's dull brown eyes looked over the lobby, feigning interest in a vase or a painting so that he could memorize its basic layout along with all the entrances and exits.

When he finally sauntered over to the counter, he came face to face with the clerk, a bored-looking boy around the age of sixteen with an unkempt mop of hair and a haori that was slightly askew. He hurriedly pushed a book of questionable material out of Naruto's view and brushed his hair out of his eyes. "Good evening ma'am. How may I assist you?" the boy asked in a practiced tone.

Naruto had to resist the urge to smile at him. Most likely this was a family establishment, and the boy had been roped into working the night shift to assist his parents or perhaps to make some easy cash. Whatever the reason, Naruto hoped once again that his dispute with Sasuke could be handled peacefully. The last thing he needed was to traumatize this poor boy by demolishing the inn under his watch.

"A one night stay, please," his illusion spoke in a measured, weathered tone. If he was too cheerful, the boy would be more likely to inquire about his stay, which was the last thing he needed at the moment.

"Of course, ma'am," the boy responded with a slight incline of his head and turned around to face a wall of pegged keys. As soon as his back was turned, Naruto began to take an inventory of all the missing keys. Thankfully, due to the small size of the inn and the almost nonexistent amount of traffic through Harahoku, there were only six keys missing. By the time the boy had turned around to hand Naruto his own key to room 210, he had memorized them all.

Naruto pressed the correct amount of bills into the clerk's open hand with slender, false fingers and accepted the room key with a small word of thanks. The boy smiled and nodded with simulated interest, then dipped his head to return to his magazine. Naruto took this as his queue to exit into the stairwell at his left.

Once he was alone, Naruto took a moment to review the schematics of the building. There were three floors, two of which contained twelve rooms respectively while the other housed the lobby and eight rooms. Thirty-two rooms total. Each room had one window, which either faced the street or the back of a small, one story flower shop. All this information his clones had gathered from their brief reconnaissance. But now came the tricky part: locating Sasuke without causing a disturbance with the other guests. But he couldn't wait in this stairwell forever. Taking in a deep breath, Naruto continued up the short flight to the second floor, but before he entered the hallway, he concentrated his chakra into his right hand for the third time that day and placed his palm against the door frame, leaving a small line of kanji in its place. It took so much concentration that his hand wavered in the process, oscillating between a petit woman's hand and his own larger one. He held his breath and stood absolutely still until it passed a few seconds later.

Breathing in a sigh of relief, Naruto made sure the rest of his disguise was in order before slowly opening the door. The hallway was deserted, save for the light conversational sounds that drifted from underneath a few closed doors. Making sure to re-mask his chakra, Naruto casually walked down the hall, silently noting that the even rooms were located to the right while the odds were on the left. Every small sound or groan of the floorboards sounded like a preparation for an attack, and he gripped the handle of his kunai underneath his cloak. But his worst fears were not met, and he reached his room with no interruptions.

Once inside the room, Naruto closed the shutters and curtains, checked every surface for other signs of infiltration, and locked the door. When he was sure that he had not been discovered, he dropped the illusion, removed his cloak, and sat heavily on the bed. The thought that he may be just one floor—or one room—away from Sasuke passed through his mind. He gave himself a moment to allow his hands to stop shaking.

Clearing his throat, Naruto pressed on the two-way communicator on his neck and murmured softly, "Leader checking in. Come in Scouts." There was a brief silence on the other end, and then:

"Scout One checking in."

"Scout Two checking in. All clear outside the inn."

Naruto nodded, expecting nothing less. It was odd, having a three-way conversation with himself, but he had found the skill necessary and incredibly useful on other such missions. One of the greatest benefits to creating shadow clones was the instant information passed between them and the creator. However, the information was only passed if and when a clone was destroyed. Consequently, Naruto had to devise a way to share information while the clones were still 'alive' so that they could continue to aid him in the mission.

"I'm stationed in room 210, the last room on the second floor facing the street," he explained and then closed his eyes to bring all the other room numbers to the front of his mind. "Six other rooms are occupied: 103, 107, 110, 201, 204, and 306." He heard two affirmatives from the other side. "I have good reason to suspect that the target is not on this floor. I heard a child's voice come from the first room and a woman's voice from the other. My highest suspicion is the third floor, but we should still try to inspect the first floor as well."

Again, he heard two identical agreeing voices. So it was established that each scout would try to discover as much as possible from the windows on the first floor, each one taking a different side of the building. Naruto would remain in the room and then try to infiltrate the other rooms from the inside if necessary.

Thirty minutes passed by in a silence filled with anxiety. Naruto could only imagine the stealthy measures his clones would have to take in order to discover which room their target was taking refuge in. Though he tried to keep his mind in the room, he could not help but to let it wander into the past. Naruto replayed every interaction he had with Sasuke since his childhood, starting with their brief exchanges by the docks. He leapt forward years until they were academy students. Sasuke seemed to be perfect in every possible area of study, while Naruto struggled even to perform the simplest tasks. He remembered with great clarity the day that he had pronounced Sasuke his rival, and remembered even more clearly the absolute despair he had felt when he realized he would be paired with him. But then he thought of their first mission—or their first _real_ mission—together. Sasuke had risked his life for his sorry ass, and when the bastard's strength had failed him, Naruto had done the same. He remembered the horrified look on Sakura's face and the ice cold feeling in his gut when they both thought him dead. Again his mind skipped ahead to the chuunin exams, but his memories only served as a montage of fights and innumerable wounds. However, one thing stood clear from all the rest: the moment Sasuke acknowledged his strength. Such happiness and acceptance had flowed through him at the praise. It seemed painfully ironic that the first time Naruto would seriously fight him would also be the last time he saw Sasuke in Konoha.

The rest of the memories were tainted with disappointment and a hurt that ran so deep, it was painful just to think about them. Of course, there were shining moments in the darkness, like when Sasuke had admitted to thinking of him as his best friend . . . and then promptly proceeded to try and kill him.

It surprised Naruto to find that he could recount all of these events calmly in his mind, but he had a very strong suspicion that it had nothing to do with his nerves and everything to do with the overwhelming effects of wearing his painted mask. He wasn't Naruto anymore. He had no room to feel anything when his mind needed to be focused on the task at hand. Or at least, that's what his instinct was telling him.

A brief bit of radio static shook him from his thoughts. "Scout Two checking in."

Naruto straightened on the bed and immediately asked, "What did you find?"

"The target doesn't appear to be on this floor. We discovered one family of three and two other men staying in separate rooms. It could be a form of genjutsu, but we didn't sense any traces of his chakra," the clone went on to explain, confirming Naruto's earlier suspicions.

A silent moment of understanding passed between them. "Alright. Then I'll proceed to the third floor. Mark the roof, and then stand by in the original designated areas on either side of the inn." Naruto's orders were followed by the familiar chorus of affirmatives, and then he was left with his own thoughts once more.

He gave himself another minute to compose himself. This was it. No turning back. This time tomorrow, both he and Sasuke would be back on Konoha soil for the first time in seven years, and he would finally be free of this burden. But more importantly, he would be reunited with a friend, and more important still, he would give the woman he loved everything she had ever wanted . . . even if it wasn't him.

In one fluid movement, Naruto stood, whirled his cloak around him, and then secured it by fastening the clasp at his neck. When he turned to look at himself in the mirror, the older woman stared back. He knew very well that his illusion would not fool Sasuke, but it would get him past whoever else might be lurking in the halls. Stopping at the door, Naruto quickly made another mark in his room—just in case—and waited for the interference with his hand to pass before exiting into the hall.

The florescent lights illuminating the hall glared down on him, as if mocking the dark deed that lay ahead. Naruto kept his eyes fixed forward, even when one of the other inn residents passed him in the hall. The woman glanced at his illusion, but kept on walking. Holding in a sigh of relief, Naruto finally made it to the stair well and quietly began his ascent. It was the shortest, yet longest climb of his life. When he reached the door, Naruto briefly considered placing one more mark in the stairwell, but thought better of it. Three marks inside the building seemed a bit excessive. Plus, he couldn't afford to give up his position by performing the same justu for the third time while he was so close to the target. Surely he would notice.

Sneaking a furtive glance through a crack in the door, Naruto confirmed that the hall was empty. He slid silently through the door like a fox stalking its prey, but his body froze as soon as he made it to the other side. A familiar chakra hung heavy in the air, nearly choking him with its potency. His throat tightened. His muscles clenched. God, it was like Sasuke wasn't even trying to hide his presence. He was waving it in his face, taunting him and ridiculing his surveillance skills. Naruto's hand tightened around the handle of his kunai, and his knees shook—not with fear, but anticipation.

Sasuke knew he was here. He was almost certain of it, which gave him all the more reason to be overly cautious.

Naruto crept down the hallway, the lights continuing to bath him in harsh, unforgiving white. The chakra signature grew thicker and stronger as he drew closer. He passed room 300 . . . 302. His heart started pounding in his chest. Adrenaline rushed through his veins . . . 304. He felt like an animal crawling through tall grass, creeping ever closer, silent in the night.

He stopped just short of room 306 and pressed his back against the wall. The doors to the rooms were triggered to automatically lock when shut; they also swung inwards. He would have to break the door down if he was to gain entrance, but doing so would be nothing short of suicide. Besides, if Sasuke knew that he was coming—which at this point, he was pretty certain of—then he could have already activated his Mangekyō sharingan. He could literally be pulled into three days of hell if he so much as glanced at Sasuke's eyes . . . or perhaps something even worse.

Unfastening his traveling cloak—it would prove too cumbersome for such close quarters, but he would need it for his departure—Naruto dropped his illusion and kicked the cloak further down the hall. Doing his best to keep his chakra masked, Naruto created one clone which immediately positioned itself straight across from the door. The hallway was narrow, but Naruto was confident that with enough chakra built up in the clone's legs, it would be able to easily knock down a wooden door.

Again, Naruto pressed himself against the wall, kunai in hand. He and the clone exchanged a silent nod, and the clone took a runner's starting position. It paused for about fifteen seconds, waiting for enough chakra to build up behind its heels, and then sprinted forward. Its body rose up, left shoulder leaned forward, head tucked, and the door snapped open.

For one terrible second, Naruto was left in the dark. But then his clone was taken down and its memories came rushing into his head. He didn't have time to wait, so he digested them as he turned on his heel and rushed into the room.

In his mind, he saw the clone enter the dark room and see one solitary figure dressed in a white kimono standing at the window, sword drawn and hanging limply in his hand. And then the dark headed man turned in a flash and threw a shuriken straight at the clone's throat. All of this happened within a second, but Naruto was able to garner one important fact: the target's eyes were black as night.

The smoke from his clone's termination was just clearing as he barreled through the center of the room. His eyes registered a flash of white in front of him, and he raised his kunai in defense. A sharp ring ran through the small room, and an unbelievable pressure ran through his arm. His three-pronged kunai had caught the katana between the gap of two prongs, leaving the two ninja's arms and weapons shaking with contained strength. Naruto was relieved when he glanced at his assailant's eyes and saw that they were still like small, impenetrable coals.

All his anger, his conviction, and a strong sense of closure seemed to fall over him, but none so much as a feeling of unreality. For the first time in four years, he was face to face with Uchiha Sasuke, deserter, rouge, and friend . . . and he couldn't think of a thing to say.

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><p>To be continued . . .<p>

**Author's Note: **If I get some nice reviews I may be persuaded to upload the next chapter early. *shameless plug* So yeah . . . go do that. And a special thanks to those who leave consistent reviews (don't think I don't remember who you are). I really appreciate it!


	5. Reunion

**Author's Note: **Perhaps this will make up for the last cliffhanger. An early upload for your enjoyment!

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><p><strong>Chapter 5: Reunion<strong>

The room was dark, save for the steady stream of light that came in from the broken door. It swung back and forth a few times on its hinges, adding a quiet squeaking noise to the light clink of steel before falling silent and still. But despite the lack of light, Naruto could make out Sasuke's face perfectly. Through his years of undoubted hardship—what with ducking various hidden villages' ninja and plotting his revenge and whatnot—his face hadn't lost what the kunoichi of the village would have considered to be his good looks. His face was slightly more angular than it had been in his youth, but it was still as pale as ever and devoid of scars. Sasuke's eyes, though, had been much more affected by the years. They were hard, unyielding, and filled with such a clustered myriad of emotions that it was difficult to discern anything from them. Those same eyes ran over his mask and dissected his appearance with unwavering intensity.

There was a long silence as they studied each other, and then:

"Come to kill me, Naruto?"

Naruto smirked underneath his mask. As always, Sasuke's face was calm and hard, but his voice held a certain nostalgic ring of a challenge that made Naruto feel as if they were back on the training fields of Konoha. He half expected him to finish his question with the insult of 'dead last.'

"No, not kill you," Naruto assured him, but kept the pressure behind his kunai constant. "I have a proposition."

As Sasuke seemed to digest this information, Naruto glanced to his left. Sasuke's bed was made—always one for neatness—but it was littered with old, bloody bandages. A clear bottle of clear liquor sat on his bedside table, and just as Naruto had expected, less than an inch of liquid was missing. It would be just enough to clean the worst of his wounds.

"Really? You never give up, do you?" Sasuke asked, as if he expected anything less. Gripping his sword handle with both hands, Sasuke pushed against Naruto's weapon, and the two quickly broke away from each other. Naruto half expected Sasuke to lunge forward and take a swipe at his neck, his stomach, anything . . . but he didn't. Instead, he stood calmly with his back to the window. His sword hung limply in his right hand, the tip hanging an inch above the floor. The quick movement of their exchange had caused his kimono to slip towards his shoulder, exposing several bandages wrapped around his shoulder and torso. A fresh spot of red disrupted the otherwise white linens. "If it's the same fairy tale that you've been spooning me for years, I'm not interested."

Despite Sasuke's lax posture, Naruto kept his muscles tense, his knees bent, and his kunai poised in case of a sudden attack. Sasuke surveyed him with disinterest. Something was off about him. Though Sasuke had always claimed—or aspired to be—emotionless, he had always had a burning fire behind all of his actions. And though his words towards Naruto were unquestionably degrading in meaning, they were flat. It was as if he had lost the energy to even pretend to give a damn anymore. Perhaps that could explain his stance as well. He had no time for Naruto and his games anymore, so why even bother?

"If you would just listen . . ." Naruto implored him, doing his best to keep his emotions in check. "I want to help you. Konoha wants to help you."

"Konoha," Sasuke scoffed as if it were some sort of vile disease. But then he went right back into his placid state. "And what does Konoha intend to do with me?" he asked. Suddenly, Sasuke's face grew strangely reflective, and he turned slowly to face the window. His sword scraped across the wooden floor in a relaxed arc. "Hang me? Force my clan to suffer even more at the hands of those bastards?"

Sasuke's tone had grown soft and contemplative, and quite honestly, it scared Naruto a little bit. Was this all part of his plan? Lull him into a false sense of security and then correct the act he had made on a whim so many years ago? It didn't seem like his style. But more than that, Naruto's couldn't help but feel as if Sasuke seemed drained. True, he had been wounded in his fight with his brother, but Naruto had been sure that he would have been so elated by his accomplishment that not even the gates of Hell could stand between him and his next goal. But he seemed so . . . lost.

Again, Naruto had to stop himself from getting too emotionally involved in the situation. If Sasuke didn't want to fight, then fine. Actually, he should have been happy. Isn't this what he wanted, for their meeting to lack bloodshed and be non-confrontational? Yes, he had hoped, but he had never expected to be so lucky.

Naruto didn't fully understand the last part of Sasuke's comment—hadn't his brother been the one to inflict pain on his clan?—but he decided that it didn't matter. He needed to get on with this before Sasuke's mood worsened.

"No, Konoha doesn't want you dead, Sasuke," Naruto assured him. He didn't bother to explain that he had been the one to thank. He had been the one to negotiate the terms of his sentence to ensure that Sasuke could return from this situation unscathed. He had been the one to ensure the postponement of Sasuke's status as a missing nin so that a price would not be placed on his head. He had been the one to look out for Sasuke's best interests, even after having his hand burst through his chest. Somehow, none of it seemed relevant.

Naruto waited for Sasuke to respond, but he continued to stare ahead in silence. He took that as a sign to continue. "You can stop running. If you come back with me, Konoha can offer you protection. You can live your life." By this point, Naruto understood how farfetched it all seemed. Sasuke was right; it was nothing more than a fairy tale. But he had one more angle that could work for him. "You can finish your second goal."

At the indirect mention of his desire to revive his clan, Sasuke's shoulders tensed. But just when Naruto thought that he had been able to prod some of the old Sasuke out into the open, they deflated once more. "I don't need Konoha's protection," he murmured to the shutters. Turning his head ever so slightly in Naruto's direction, he continued, "Besides, do you expect me to believe it will be all sunshine and rainbows like you describe it? No prison time? No probation? They'll just let a guilty man walk free?"

This had been the point Naruto was hoping that they wouldn't discuss. In his original plan that he had formed with Tsunade three years prior, Sasuke would have undergone a mild form of house arrest for approximately one to two years, depending on how he cooperated. In this time, he would have been supervised by a trusted Konoha shinobi and been given small, trifle missions—nothing above a genin rank. This, to Naruto, still didn't seem fair, but Tsunade had assured him that this was the best option. Of course, when he had last visited her, she had dropped the bomb on him, and all of his hard work and deliberations had gone to shit.

"Well . . . there'd be a brief stint," Naruto regretfully replied. Sasuke let out a single humorless chuckle as if to say, 'I knew it.'

And just with that, that single chuckle, Naruto had enough. He was tired of Sasuke not taking this seriously. For Christ's sake, he wasn't even facing him, let alone holding his weapon properly. Naruto knew that he still may not match up to Sasuke as far as skill went, but the least he could was to pretend to be on guard, or at the very least interested.

"What do you have left out here?" Naruto demanded and subconsciously felt his rigid stance give way to his emotions. "You'll just keep running and running, and someday, someone will catch you, and the repercussions will be much worse." Naruto paused to let this sink in, but Sasuke just continued to stare at the closed window. Suddenly, his harsh tone softened into something resembling a plea. "This is Konoha's last offer, Sasuke. If you don't come back with me this time, they won't care if you come back alive. You'll have a bounty on your head," he implored his friend to listen, just this once. And while he and Sasuke both knew that the majority of Konoha's shinobi would be hard pressed to even lay a scratch on him, the threat was still very real, and very serious. The elders didn't like to be cheated out of what they thought was rightfully theirs. Pompous bastards.

Naruto's obvious concern was met by a pointed silence. So was this it? Was this his reply? 'Go away Naruto. I don't have time to deal with your crap anymore'? He couldn't even lift his sword to give him a proper thrashing for old time's sake?

And just when Naruto was sure that Sasuke was not going to respond, he let out a reply so soft that Naruto almost didn't hear it. "I killed Itachi," Sasuke murmured in a kind of daze, but also in a casual tone that made it seem as if he was discussing something no more trivial than the weather.

Naruto stared at him in slight disbelief and wondered briefly if Sasuke had lost his mind. Had he even been listening? "Yes . . . I know," Naruto said cautiously, as if he were approaching a nervous animal. "That's why I'm here."

"Come to pay your condolences?"

The sudden outburst, though flat and sarcastic, caught Naruto completely off guard. Not counting their battle seven years ago, this was the most sporadic Naruto had even seen Sasuke. At times he was angry, then contemplative, then bitter, then uninterested, and then, when he had spoken about his brother, strangely . . . remorseful? Perhaps he had suffered a head injury during the battle.

When Naruto finally regained the ability to speak, he explained, "No, I mean, that's how I was able to find you. Your trail wasn't exactly well hidden." He remembered the desolated landscape that Sasuke had left in his wake and the resonating chakra that still permeated the area. It wasn't what Naruto would call subtle.

Sasuke didn't bother to explain or defend himself, and once again Naruto wondered if Sasuke had wanted him to discover his location. Then again, he had barely shown any interest in his arrival. And apart from their initial confrontation, Sasuke hadn't even attempted to injure Naruto in any way. If he had in fact wanted Naruto to find him, then his motives remained unclear.

At this point, Naruto was having a hard time holding back his anger. His rigid stance had been abandoned long ago, though he still kept his knees slightly bent and his kunai parallel to the ground—could never be too careful. If Sasuke wasn't going to give a damn . . . well, he was going to make him. Slipping his left hand into his weapons' pouch, Naruto grabbed a shuriken and aimed it to the left of Sasuke's head. It embedded itself into the window frame with a solid thud. Besides the motion that his hair made from the unnatural breeze, Sasuke didn't move. "God damn it, Sasuke! Would you at least look at me?" Naruto yelled, temporarily forgetting that his mask prohibited him from feeling anything beyond his instincts.

To his surprise, Sasuke immediately responded, "Why? So you can stare at me from behind your own mask?" At one point in time, Naruto could imagine him saying those exact same words with venom or at least a haughty smirk. But once again, they had been flat and tired, hopeless almost. Instead of giving him time to contemplate this, Sasuke continued, "It doesn't suit you, by the way."

Naruto couldn't help it. He was so dumbfounded that he stammered, "W-what?"

"The fox," Sasuke calmly explained. "It's too cliché." His casual tone had returned—"I think it might rain tomorrow," "By the way, I killed my brother," "You should have made a better selection on your assassin's mask,"—though the subjects he chose to discuss with it were anything but casual.

Now it was Naruto's turn to be silent. He found it incredibly odd, and somehow slightly disturbing, that he had thought the exact same thing about his mask just a few hours prior. Though he hadn't quite put it in those words, he had also thought that the fox had been a bad fit. In his own fucked up way, Sasuke had always been able to understand him better than anyone else.

Naruto was still searching for something to say, but Sasuke beat him to it. It seemed as if Naruto had found a switch that couldn't be turned off. Lowering his voice to a soft murmur, Sasuke said, "I understand everything now. Everything is so clear." It was so quiet and introspective and personal that Naruto wondered if Sasuke meant for him to hear it, or if he even knew he was saying it out loud. Regardless, Naruto was interested to hear what he would say next. Perhaps he meant that his next move was clear. Maybe he had finally come to his senses and realized that Konoha was the only way to start a good life for himself and his future clan.

Unfortunately, Sasuke did not elaborate on his mumbled comment, so Naruto was forced to continue their conversation—if their jumbled exchange could be labeled as such. "Sasuke . . . I'm asking you to come back quietly. I don't want to fight you. You're injured. And you and I both know that we'd kill half this town if we fought again." Disturbed though he may have been, Sasuke didn't get any more joy from killing innocent civilians than Naruto did. What would he be if not a clone of his brother?

Without turning his head, Sasuke placed his left hand on the window shutters and slowly pushed them open, as if he had just then realized that he had spent the last fifteen minutes staring at nothing. He gazed out at the rooftops for a moment before asking, "But say I didn't want to come quietly. Would you still fight me if it meant you could bring me back?"

Sasuke sure had a knack for putting Naruto on the spot. For some reason, he felt as if this question was separate from Sasuke's other seemingly sarcastic jabs. Behind his flat tone and feigned disinterest, he sounded genuinely curious. Naruto was confused. But more than that, he was insulted that Sasuke would doubt his intentions. What was it with the people in his life and them questioning his conviction? He was half-tempted to accuse Sasuke of already knowing the answer to that question, but he didn't want to leave any more room for misinterpretation than he already had. "Yes," he answered simply.

Sasuke nodded like he hadn't been expecting any other answer. He turned his head slightly downward, and Naruto imagined him visualizing the streets filled with playing children and other village residents. "Even if it meant possibly killing an innocent woman or child in the process?" he asked and for the first time, turned his head to look Naruto in the eye. His dark eyes were hard, as usual, but behind his walls was a burning question. He needed to know.

Naruto's hand clenched around the handle of his kunai. He had asked himself the same question several times. How far was he willing to go to get Sasuke back? He had always told himself that he was willing to risk anything, even his life. But when the lives of others came into the balance, he became unsure. Of course, he didn't want any unnecessary casualties, and the thought of having innocent blood on his hands was unbearable. He knew the right answer was to say that he'd rather save a human life, but he wasn't sure if that's what he really felt. It was an irrational and incredibly selfish way of thinking, but he'd be lying if he said that he would trade Sasuke's life for someone that he had never met. He wondered how far he had strayed from his original path of the shinobi just to keep a promise to a friend and to himself. But no matter how much pondering or wondering he did, or how much he wanted to play the perfect hero, it would not change the answer that he could feel buried deep in his soul.

"Yes," he finally answered.

This seemed to please Sasuke in some small way. It wasn't apparent by his face or his actions, but Naruto could feel a definite shift in the atmosphere of the room. "I see," Sasuke said and turned to look out the window once more.

Naruto couldn't help but wonder where he was going with all this. With a sense of dread, he wondered if this was Sasuke's prequel to attacking him and initiating a battle, but his stance didn't let on to any such thing. Then again, Sasuke had always been quite cryptic in his meanings; it irked Naruto beyond belief. At this point, Naruto had abandoned his stance and simply stood facing Sasuke with his kunai still in his hand. The only reason he even had it out was because Sasuke still maintained his lax grip on his sword. Naruto wasn't sure what he planned to do with it in such close quarters, but he had learned long ago never to question Sasuke's methods.

Without turning back around, Sasuke said with absolutely no emotion, "Alright."

Naruto blinked. "Alright, what?"

Under normal conditions, Naruto could imagine Sasuke sighing or scowling at his idiocy, but he didn't so much as bat an eye. Instead, he turned around slowly to face him, his expression tired and his eyes dead. Naruto couldn't help but notice that the small spot of red on his bandages had gotten considerably bigger. "I'll come with you."

The words filled the room with their overwhelming implications. Naruto's heart started hammering away in his chest, and he stared at Sasuke in disbelief. Surely it couldn't be this simple. Naruto narrowed his eyes behind his mask and studied Sasuke for any traces of deceit, paying special attention to the fact that he still held his sword. "Are you serious?"

For the first time in years, Naruto saw Sasuke smirk at him. It was the kind of smirk that was normally accompanied by a soft chuckle and a shake of the head, but Sasuke was never one to show emotion. The smirk was generous enough. "You don't believe me?" he asked incredulously.

No, he didn't, and quite frankly, he didn't know if he should. But instead of voicing these concerns, he asked, "What made you change your mind?" He refused to let himself feel any kind of relief until he could confirm that this wasn't just some huge mind fuck that Sasuke had concocted with his back turned towards him.

His question seemed to strike a chord in Sasuke. His smirk melted away until his face was blank once again. "What does the reason matter?" he grumbled and tightened his hold on his sword. Naruto's eyes immediately went to his hand, and his right foot slid back two inches to accommodate a better stance. A tense moment passed between them. When Sasuke realized that Naruto would not be appeased until he received a real answer, he sighed through his nose and loosened his grip on the katana. "You were right. Konoha is my best option right now," Sasuke admitted flatly.

Naruto couldn't believe his ears. For years now, he had been waiting to hear Sasuke say those words, but now that it was actually happening . . . they sounded wrong. This was a fairy tale that wasn't supposed to have a happy ending. It was a dream that was never supposed to be fulfilled. But now it was, and he was having a difficult time dealing with it.

After a lot of staring, disbelief, and silence, Naruto finally cleared his throat and mentally walked himself through the necessary steps that needed to be taken. "Well then . . . I guess we should go while we still have the cover of the dark," he said in a sort of daze. It was strange, but in all the times he had imagined bringing Sasuke home, never once had he imagined it in any other way than carrying Sasuke's broken and bloody body on his back. It just made sense that it would come to some sort of physical confrontation, but again, Naruto reminded himself that this was the desired outcome, no matter what his daydreams had contained.

Sasuke looked uncomfortable with the idea. His eyes glanced to his side, as if they desired to be reunited with their view out the window. "No, not tonight." It seemed that his eyes got the best of him, and he turned back around to gaze without seeing out the window. "Come back tomorrow. We'll leave then," he insisted.

Naruto furrowed his brow, confused out of his mind. He had assumed that Sasuke would want to leave while it was still dark. Granted, it couldn't have been much later than midnight, so they had plenty of time, but to wait until the morning? It didn't make any sense. If they waited that long, then Sasuke would be brought through the gates in broad daylight, in clear view of the whole village. Naruto couldn't think of a worse fate. "But why wait that long? If we set out now—"

"Naruto," Sasuke cut him off. Naruto blinked; it had only been the second time in their whole exchange that he had called him by name. "If I go with you, even under the best circumstances, I'll be imprisoned. I'll be shuttled around a high security prison for possibly years. And even when I get out, I'll be the property of the village." Here he paused to place his hand on the window shutters and exhale a small sigh. "I want this last night of freedom. Can you understand that?" he asked and turned his head ever so slightly in Naruto's direction. Naruto could only stare ahead at him, caught off guard by his suddenly personal explanation. Without waiting for him to respond, Sasuke continued, "If you give me this, I'll go quietly."

Still, something didn't seem right. Who was to say that Sasuke wouldn't sneak off in the middle of the night, or even sneak down to Naruto's room and slit his throat while he slept? He doubted that Sasuke would stoop to such rookie tactics, but still, he could never be too careful. "How do I know that you won't leave?" Naruto asked in all seriousness.

Sasuke chuckled once, and turned back around to face him. Personally, Naruto was getting tired of his flip-flopping technique, but as long as he saw his face every once in a while, he supposed it didn't matter. Another smirk was on Sasuke's face, a tired laugh in his eyes. "Don't you trust me?" he asked.

Just once, Naruto wished that Sasuke wouldn't answer his question with another question. Oh well, beggars couldn't be choosers.

Just as it had revealed itself to him in his own room, Naruto's entire history with Sasuke reappeared before his eyes. He remembered all the near death situations that the other had gotten him out of . . . and how many he had been responsible for. He remembered the unbreakable brotherly bond that had connected them in their short time together . . . and how he had nearly died trying to protect it. But no matter what disagreement they had gotten into—physical, verbal, or otherwise—Sasuke had always left him alive.

Lifting his chin with confidence, Naruto responded, "With my life." Sasuke nodded, satisfied with his answer. But Naruto was not finished. "I just don't trust you with yours." He wouldn't let Sasuke screw this up. He was going to return to Konoha. He didn't have to like it, but he was going to do it. This was his last chance at a normal life, his last chance to be happy. Naruto wouldn't let him sacrifice that for his pride.

Sasuke's smirk fell as he digested Naruto's words, but if he had any questions as to what he meant, he didn't voice them. "I won't leave, so you can call off your clones," Sasuke said, adopting his flat tone once again. "Come back tomorrow." The dismissal was clear.

Naruto smirked underneath his mask. So Sasuke had realized that he was tracking him. For what had to be the hundredth time, Naruto wondered what had been running through Sasuke's mind that night and what his intentions were. Had he wanted to be caught? Had he been planning on going back to Konoha all along? It didn't seem possible. Inching backwards toward the door, Naruto had a major sense of déjà vu and envisioned the two of them back on the training grounds. "If you even try to leave, I'll beat your ass into the ground and then drag you back to Konoha," he threatened, letting some good ole fashioned playfulness creep back into his voice.

To his surprise, Sasuke's expression softened into something that actually resembled a genuine smile. "I'm sure you will." He could almost hear the familiar ring of 'idiot' follow.

Naruto had difficulty exiting the room, but he somehow managed it. Before he closed the broken door and placed one last mark on his side of the door—just in case—the last thing he saw was Sasuke's silhouette against the open window, his sword still loosely held in his hand.

* * *

><p>In spite of Sasuke's request for Naruto to get rid of his clones, Naruto made ten more. He'd be damned if Sasuke got out of here without him knowing. He'd stay up all night if he had to. The clones were posted at every conceivable corner of the town and the inn. Two were stationed in the stair well, each taking turns to check each floor periodically. One sat atop the roof. Another sat on the roof of the building directly across from the inn, staring straight at Sasuke's window. He had clones stationed at the end of the street, at the edge of the woods, and at any major entrance or exit to the town. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he realized that this violated Sasuke's last request of having one last night of freedom. Though he did feel a little guilty about it, he knew that it was a necessary sacrifice. It was all for the greater good.<p>

As Naruto sat on his bed staring at the crumpled black form of his traveling cloak—he had picked it up on his way back to his room—his clones gave him constant updates. Most of the information was trivial or a constant chorus of 'No movement on this end.' Naruto took two soldier pills to insure that he wouldn't fall asleep on the job, though he doubted that anything could deter his mind from this task.

At several points in the night, Naruto found himself staring up at the ceiling. His eyes would drift to the left where he knew, two rooms down, Sasuke was residing. Though the walls of the inn were thin, they were not thin enough to allow him to hear any of Sasuke's movements from such a distance. In the time that he spent waiting for morning, or waiting for Sasuke to make some sort of run for it, Naruto focused on how odd his encounter with Sasuke had been. Sasuke had seemed so . . . disconnected from himself and from the situation that Naruto wondered just how shaken his fight with his brother had left him. He also tried to understand Sasuke's tone of voice. It had been flat, almost depressed, as if he had finally given up and let his mind go wherever it wanted. None of it made sense, but Naruto supposed that he'd have plenty of time to discuss such things with Sasuke on the trip home.

For the first time that evening, Naruto let himself indulge on the idea that Sasuke was finally coming home, and of his own free will! He couldn't believe that after all his hard work and obsessive training, his dream was finally coming true. It was the kind of happy ending that happened to other people, not him. Sure, the first couple years would be hard, but he was determined to make it work. He'd visit Sasuke every day that he wasn't on a mission, or however often he was allowed to visit him. Hell, he didn't even care if he wasn't allowed to visit; he'd find a way. The transition back into normal life at Konoha wouldn't be easy for Sasuke either, but Naruto would be there for him, and Sakura, and Kakashi-sensei. He would finally have the Team Seven that he had been cheated out of so long ago.

After he allowed such selfish thoughts to cross his mind, Naruto focused on all of the necessary things that needed to be done for Sasuke's arrival. Perhaps an hour before they set out, Naruto would send a clone ahead of them with a message for the Hokage. That way, she could organize a quick and crowd-free way of escorting Sasuke to a temporary holding cell. Naruto knew that practically everyone in the village—ninja or otherwise—knew of Sasuke's desertion years ago. He didn't want a riot to break out on the streets because some ignorant third party individuals felt the need to have their opinions known.

There was so much to do. So many people to tell. And Sakura! He'd have to tell Sakura right away, as soon as he was done with his debriefing. She and Kakashi had the right to see Sasuke first . . . and maybe Sai and Yamato-sensei, but he was fairly certain that they would decline the invitation.

Naruto went on with his musings well into the night. He was beginning to think that he had actually pulled this off when a frantic call came over his radio.

"Rooftop Two checking in. The shutters are still shut, but I'm seeing some flashing blue light seep through. His chakra has taken a major incline, and I'm starting to hear suppressed birds' screeching," the clone on the opposite rooftop informed him.

Naruto stood up from his bed and set his mask over his face just in time to hear another call come through. "Rooftop One checking in, confirming those reports. It's definitely a chidori. A powerful one."

"Shit!" Naruto hissed and then quickly ordered, "Rooftop One infiltrate the room if you can. I'll be there in five seconds for back-up. All other clones retreat to the streets for possible pursuit." As soon as Naruto heard the 'Roger' on the other side, he focused his chakra and concentrated his mind on the mark he had left on Sasuke's door. He immediately felt a tightness all around him before he was engulfed in darkness and then thrown through space until he landed outside Sasuke's room with his hand pressed against the Hiraishin seal.

Sure enough, electric blue light was seeping from the cracks of the broken door, mixing with that harsh florescent lighting of the hallway. As Naruto grabbed the door in its slightly ajar position, making sure not to touch the metal handle or hinges, his clone's memories came rushing into his mind. He saw it dropping from the roof to Sasuke's window sill, grabbing the top of the window frame, and swinging its legs through the shutters. It hardly had time to land before a blue bolt of lightning ran straight through its heart. With one mighty tug, Naruto ripped the door from its frame and held it in front of him as a makeshift shield.

The light, the sound, the shear chakra pressure were overwhelming, but Naruto tried to gain some reassurance by reminding himself that he still had a seal on the roof if things got too close.

"Sasuke!" he yelled over the noise.

Sasuke stood in the center of the room, facing the window, his sword held parallel to the ground. Lightning natured chakra danced around his body and sword at an incredible speed. When he heard Naruto's voice, he turned at a casual speed and looked at him with an unreadable expression. At first it appeared as if he felt a hint of remorse, but then his conviction came back to him, and he stood stone-faced once more. The chakra expanded with a small burst and became highly concentrated around his blade.

"You're too late, Naruto!" Sasuke responded and began to lift his katana. Naruto couldn't help but notice that he had dressed his wounds with clean bandages. A small movement caught Naruto's eye, and he saw with a bit of shock that while Sasuke's sword hand was perfectly calm, his left hand was shaking.

Naruto clenched the wooden door for dear life. He'd have to time this perfectly. In the split second he had after Sasuke released his chidori, he'd have to teleport to the roof and then re-enter the room from the window with a rasengan. It may not have been the best plan, but it was all he had. He knew Sasuke had been far too calm about this earlier. He was right to be skeptical, which made him wish that he hadn't allowed himself to think even for one second that Sasuke had truly agreed to return home with him.

The wood creaked in his grip. He shifted on his feet. Come on, come on.

And finally, Sasuke fully lifted the sword, but the angle was all wrong. How was he supposed to hit Naruto with it tilted up and to the side like that? As if he read his thoughts, Sasuke twisted his wrist and spun the sword in his hand. The blade fell in a slow, lightning incased arc until Sasuke gripped the handle, and it swung to a stop at a downward forty-five degree angle. Something clicked in Naruto's mind, and he straightened slightly behind the door, but as Sasuke had said, he was too late.

In the last second, Sasuke seemed to drop his mask and looked at Naruto with an expression of utter defeat. And then, with one last burst of chakra, he thrust the sword through his own stomach and fell to the floor.

* * *

><p>To be continued . . .<p> 


	6. Seppuku

**Chapter 6: Seppuku**

In that moment, time stood still for Naruto, and he was able to see every horrific detail of Sasuke's self-mutilation with absolute clarity. He watched, helplessly frozen behind his wooden barrier, as the lightning incased blade tore through Sasuke's stomach. Sasuke grimaced in pain, his face so contorted that it was almost unrecognizable, but did not cry out. When the hilt of his katana touched his skin, he took a ragged breath, and then sent a second violent shock through the blade. His body convulsed and his legs gave way beneath him, sending him crashing to his knees. Blood seeped from the wound at his stomach and from previous wounds from his battle with his brother. It seemed as if the electrical shock had forcefully ripped them open.

His hands shook—rivulets of blood ran over his knuckles—and his upper body swayed from side to side as if debating how best to fall. And just when Naruto thought it was over, Sasuke choked and wretched violently, nearly doubling over from the intensity. Even in the dim light, the pool looked to be a sticky, murky red. Naruto knew it was blood. The lightning and screeching that surrounded Sasuke sputtered and died, concentrating into a dull hum around his sword.

Panting from the physical exertion of emptying his pierced stomach, Sasuke slowly lifted his head to stare bleary-eyed at Naruto's mask. Liquid ice ran through Naruto's veins. He stared transfixed at Sasuke's dull eyes, once so full of life and passion. He was oblivious to everything else. The blood that trickled down Sasuke's chin to hit the wet floor—drip, drip, drip—and the wood that splintered into his fingers didn't even register in his mind. Then suddenly, Sasuke's eyes fluttered and rolled to the back of his head, and time sped up as his body fell forward to collide with the ground.

A beat passed before Naruto regained control of his limbs. "Sasuke!" he screamed and barreled forward into the room, nearly slipping on the blood and bodily fluids that mixed on the floor. Sasuke lay motionless at his feet, which only increased his panic.

Think, think, think! He could still be alive, yes, he could still be alive. But the sword needed to go. He needed to stop the blood and clean the wound. Rolling Sasuke on his side, Naruto took a firm grasp of the sword handle. A powerful electrical volt ran through his arm.

"Shit!" he yelled and somehow managed to release his grip. But wait. This was a good thing. Electricity meant chakra and chakra meant life. Sasuke was still alive! Naruto just needed a different approach.

His eyes danced wildly around the room until they landed on the bed. Crossing the room in one stride, Naruto ripped the sheets off with a harsh tug—various items fell to the floor with dull thuds—and wrapped them around his hand. Returning to his original position by Sasuke, Naruto gripped the sword handle again and slid it out as quickly as he dared. A soft hum of electricity still ran through his arm, but the pain was much more manageable. The sword clanged against the floor as he slid it to a far corner of the room. With shaking hands, Naruto hurriedly wrapped the sheets around Sasuke's torso and was horrified to find how quickly the white was marred by red.

As he secured the last piece, Naruto heard a soft groan escape Sasuke's lips. Snapping his head up at the sound, Naruto ripped off his mask and gently turned Sasuke onto his back. "Sasuke . . . _Sasuke!_"

Sasuke coughed a few times and slowly opened his eyes. A small spark of recognition lit their dim surfaces as he gazed up at Naruto's face, but it quickly faded. "I told you . . . to come back tomorrow . . . idiot," he wheezed. Though they had not had a real conversation in years, Naruto knew Sasuke well enough to interpret his message as, 'I didn't want you to see this.' It could have been another cough, but Naruto swore what followed his statement sounded like a chuckle. In Sasuke's weakest moment, his walls had finally appeared to have fallen.

He lay there, coughing up blood, ugly. He was not meant to die like this. It went against his very nature. In his final moments, his beauty had fled in hopes to escape such treachery, leaving his bloody face contorted in grotesque expressions of pain.

Tears welled up behind Naruto's eyes, but he didn't have time to cry. There was too much at stake now. "You have to stop talking, you stupid bastard," he chastised him, his voice shaking as much as his hands. "I've got to get you to a hospital. Konoha's the closest thing . . ." Naruto mumbled mostly to himself and started to slip his arms under Sasuke so he could carry him to salvation.

But before his left arm could slip under his back, Sasuke's hand gripped Naruto's wrist surprisingly hard for someone that had already lost half a pint of blood. "No," Sasuke said firmly. His speech was broken by three more coughs; blood trailed down the corners of his mouth. "No, I want to die."

This hurt Naruto more than any chidori through the chest possibly could. His lip trembled, and he looked down at Sasuke's broken body with a growing sickness in his gut. "God, what have you done to yourself, Sasuke? You have so much to live for," he murmured hopelessly, shaking his head and blinking his eyes so that his tears would not fall. Even now, he couldn't lose whatever respect Sasuke had left for him.

This time, the sad chuckle that left Sasuke's throat was unmistakable. "No, Naruto . . . I have nothing left . . ." Sasuke trailed off. His eyes stared at the ceiling, seeing and understanding things that Naruto only wished he could comprehend. He hadn't been sarcastic. He hadn't been condescending. He had used a tone of complete and hollow honesty that chilled Naruto to the bone.

Naruto's already troubled emotions skyrocketed. The painted fox could not contain him now. His instinct had fled to make way for something even more deep rooted: complete, absolute anguish. He didn't have enough time to explain the depth of the wound Sasuke had dealt him. All of his hard work, all of his training, all of his blood, sweat, tears—his very soul!—had been centered on this one task of saving his friend. It had been for Sakura, for himself, for the village, for Sasuke! It was for everything and everyone he had ever cared about . . . and now it was all dying before his very eyes. Naruto was unable to express this through words, but he tried anyway.

"You had _me!_ You had Sakura, and Kakashi-sensei . . . all of us!" his heart screamed, begging Sasuke to understand, if only for a second, the extent of his devotion to his conviction. In the back of Naruto's mind, he knew that he needed to stop this conversation and get Sasuke immediate medical attention. But Konoha was so unbelievably far . . . and Sasuke's hand was still gripping his wrist.

Shaking his head ever so slightly, Sasuke continued to stare at the ceiling, his voice growing softer and softer as he continued his explanation. "No . . . I understand everything. It's so clear," he murmured and stopped to choke and spit up more blood. "He did it all for me . . . everything for me . . . and I killed him. I don't deserve his sacrifice." Sasuke went on to mumble incoherent phrases about misplaced hate and misguided goals, but that was all Naruto could manage to make out. But even the words that he could understand perplexed him. Itachi was the enemy. He had always been the enemy. Things like that didn't just change.

However much he wanted to uncover all of his unanswered questions, Naruto knew that now was not the time. Any anger that Naruto had felt melted away as he continued to stare at the pathetic sight beneath him. Sasuke was dying. His mind knew this, but his irrational heart kept telling him that he would survive. Sasuke had come out of worse, right? Of course he had. This was just a scratch for him. A long, deep, gushing scratch that would—oh God, oh God!

"You have to stop talking," Naruto begged him and pressed his hand against the sheet to try and stop the bleeding. All he managed to do was stain his hand. "I'm taking you to the hospital. You're going to be fine," he repeated shakily and desperately tried to retie the sheets so that they would prove to be more useful.

Sasuke fixed him with an empty gaze that would haunt Naruto for years. "It's too late, Naruto . . ." he whispered. "It's always been . . . too late for me." When he could not handle the weight of his eyelids, they fluttered shut, and didn't open again.

The hand that gripped Naruto's wrist became lax and slipped to the floor with a muffled thud.

"Sasuke . . ." Naruto called. Sasuke didn't move.

"_Sasuke!_" he cried more desperately and grabbed his face between his hands. It felt as if he were lifting the head of some large, lifeless doll.

Naruto's hands began to shake quite terribly, and he gently lowered Sasuke's head back to the floor so it could rest in a pool of his own blood and vomit. This wasn't real. This wasn't real. Sasuke had caught him in the Mangekyō sharingan, and he was experiencing some sort of hell. Yes, that was it.

Suddenly, Naruto was acutely aware of every drop of blood in the room. Blood stained his shin guards and soaked through his pants from the knees down, leaving them feeling warm and heavy. It dried around his left wrist where Sasuke had grabbed him. It filled his nose with its overpowering stench of metal and shame. But what he noticed first was the rosy stain it had left on his finger tips and gloves. It marked him with the blame of such a macabre scene and mocked him for his uselessness to Sasuke when he had needed him most.

In a moment of clarity, he lifted his trembling hands to his face and listened as the many facets of his life began to splinter and break. So this was what it meant to be ANBU. A murderer, covered in the blood of his best friend.

And then the world exploded into a blurred visage of anguish and woe. A deep roaring, like the bellow of a wounded animal, filled the room. It took Naruto a moment to realize the sound was his own screaming, but he could not stop. The screams turned into sobs, and tears blurred his vision. He pulled at his hair and face, further spreading the stain of Sasuke's blood. At one moment he found himself hunched over Sasuke's body, his head almost touching his soiled torso. The next, Naruto was shaking his shoulders, pleading for him to wake up, wake up Sasuke, wake up! They had to hurry, didn't he realize that? This was no time to be sleeping!

Naruto wasn't sure how long he spent in this state of despondency, but he was sure it would have been much longer if he hadn't heard frantic footsteps racing towards them.

_Fuck. _The door and window were both open. The whole inn must have heard.

In a desperate haste, Naruto fit his mask back over his face. The world came back into focus, and his emotions suddenly became a subdued ache in his chest. His eyes quickly darted around the room. Oh God. This had murder written all over it. As his eyes scanned the room, they landed on the bottle of clear liquor perched on Sasuke's bedside table, still with only an inch of alcohol missing. A single strangled laugh made it out of Naruto's throat. Even in the face of death, Sasuke had been too proud to try and dull the pain.

As he heard the door of the stairwell slam shut, Naruto positioned himself to lift Sasuke, but something else caught his eye. Sasuke's katana still lay across the room. Naruto immediately reached for it. Sasuke had been carrying it all these years. He would want it when he woke up. The pounding footsteps were coming closer and closer, and Naruto heaved Sasuke's body over his shoulders, draping his broken and bloody form across his back. He had managed to lift himself into a squatting position when someone skidded to a stop outside the door. There, bathed in the harsh florescent light, stood the boy from the front desk.

The boy's eyes grew wide as saucers, but just as he opened his mouth, Naruto embedded a shuriken into the door frame and inch away from his head. His mouth froze in a silent scream.

Naruto laid a single finger over the fox's grinning teeth. "Forget what you saw," he instructed calmly, as if he hadn't just suffered his most intense emotional breakdown since Jiraiya's death. The boy's eyes—just a boy, just three years younger than Naruto—filled with so much fear that Naruto wondered just what kind of monster he had become. But the mask kept his emotions in check, and in the next second, he was gone.

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><p>As soon as Naruto teleported to the Hiraishin seal that he had placed at the edge of the woods, he hit the ground at a flat out sprint. His mind was racing as he weaved in between the trees. One hand gripped onto Sasuke's kimono to hold him in place while the other clutched the handle of his bloody katana. No more than five seconds after he had teleported, he realized that he had left his traveling cloak in his room. Shit. Too late now. He resolved to have one of his clones sneak in to retrieve it and dispatched all the others. A flood of memories invaded his already troubled mind as they all dissipated, but he did his best to think clearly.<p>

Already he could feel the weight of using the Hiraishin twice press down on him. It was an imperfect jutsu that he hardly ever escaped without some minor internal damage. However, the Kyuubi usually took care of it before it became too serious, and the benefits of the jutsu highly outweighed the costs. At least . . . most of the time. Though he had mastered the basic concept of his father's jutsu, Naruto had been unable to perfect the delicate science of regulating his chakra output. Consequently, all of his body didn't always stop at the same time, which could sometimes give his organs a good shake. And he had never traveled with such a large burden, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

The dark forest was difficult to maneuver in, even with his keen eyesight, and more than once he found his blood-covered soles slipping on the waxy pine needles that covered the forest floor. He always caught himself, but the sudden lurches did nothing to calm his nerves.

It was an hour's run to Konoha. Even under the best conditions, Sasuke had fifteen minutes. Sending an extra burst of chakra to his feet, Naruto scowled and frantically tried to devise some sort of plan. He had a seal placed on the border of Konoha . . . but the distance was so far. What if he didn't make it? What if he didn't end up so lucky this time and accidentally pinched off Sasuke's leg during the teleportation? Or worse. What if he pinched off his own leg and wasn't able to get Sasuke to Tsunade in time? He thought he might be sick.

Naruto tried not to notice how the sheet wrapped around Sasuke's torso was completely soaked through or the warm drops of blood that started flowing from Sasuke's body and down his back. He tried not to notice how Sasuke was growing stiffer and colder by the second. But most of all, he tried not the notice the horrible, twisted irony that he would indeed be carrying Sasuke's broken and bloody body back to Konoha, despite his earlier doubts.

Damn it, they needed to be home _now_! But the distance . . . no! He could handle it. If he tapped into the Kyuubi's chakra, it would give him the boost he needed to pull the extra weight a second time. Right? Right. Naruto slowed his pace only slightly to concentrate both his and the Kyuubi's chakra evenly throughout his body. After securing his hold on Sasuke, he took a deep breath and was pulled into the surrounding darkness. He knew that not even a second passed between each destination, but sometimes Naruto felt as if he hung in that tight middle ground of existence for an eternity. The feeling passed, and he was plopped back into reality like a yolk falling from the protective shell of an egg. He landed in a crouch on a thick tree limb, and he stabbed the wood with Sasuke's blade so that the force of the jutsu didn't propel them forward. Naruto allowed himself to take one second to breathe a sigh of relief.

And then pain burst through his ribs. Fuck. But he couldn't stop now. They were so close.

On a good day, Naruto took five minutes to run from this area of the woods to Konoha's gates. That day, he made it in two.

But it was not an easy trip. Sasuke's weight on his back was starting to become more noticeable. He held the blade awkwardly as he ran, finding no other good place to store it. The right side of his torso was throbbing and he started to taste blood and Sasuke's blood was still running down his back and fuck fuck fuck!

The gates finally came into view, slowly swinging outward as the first sliver of sunlight became visible over the horizon. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Pounding his feet against the ground, Naruto dove through the narrow entrance and continued on toward the Konoha hospital, disregarding the angry shouts from the gate keepers. Under normal conditions, Naruto would have taken to the rooftops, but the streets were empty and they made for much more even footing. After an eternity that lasted thirty seconds, Naruto arrived at hospital, skidding to a stop only after he had barreled through the double doors.

"I need Tsunade!" he demanded over the alarmed shrieks of several nurses.

A stretcher suddenly appeared at his side, and two nurses attempted to coax him into dropping Sasuke's mangled body onto the mobile bed. Only after he was assured that a messenger had been sent to retrieve Tsunade from her private quarters in the Hokage tower did he allow the two women to touch Sasuke. With his help, they lowered him onto the bed, placed his sword at his side, and then carted him off down the hall. When he tried to follow, a male nurse gripped his arm to try and hold him in place.

"You're covered in blood. You need medical attention," he tried to explain, but Naruto just shrugged him off. When the medic tried to stop Naruto a second time, he punched him hard in the chest, sending him backwards several feet.

As two nurses rushed to help the man back onto his feet, Naruto turned his head to see Sasuke's stretcher rounding a corner. He sprinted after him, but was met by more interference. "Let me through! He needs me!" His pleas were met by frantic explanations—"There's nothing you can do for him," "The Hokage will take care of him," "Please, sir, let us _help_ you"—but every time someone tried to stop him, he pushed them aside. His body was tired, and his ribs were screaming for him to stop, but he had to keep going. He had left Sasuke's side. Sasuke needed him. What if the nurses didn't give him his sword? He'd be angry with Naruto if he thought that he had lost it.

A sharp, twisting pain exploded through Naruto's ribs, like someone slowly twisting a knife into his vital tissues. For a moment, after he had just escaped an onslaught of nurses, he stopped running and doubled over from the pain. With one hand clutching his side, Naruto coughed and then spit up a mouthful of blood. The repugnant liquid was caught in his mask and splashed back against his face. Disgusted and distressed, Naruto ripped off his mask and threw it at the wall. Wood clinked against wood as the mask clashed against the wall and then rattled to the floor.

Panting heavily, Naruto looked up to see Sasuke's stretcher enter the emergency room. By sheer act of will, he wiped his mouth and pushed himself forward. He was half-way down the hall when he felt a strong hand grip his right arm. The hold was strong enough to be a man's, so as Naruto spun around, he lifted his left hand in preparation to strike his assailant. Both his hand and heart stopped when he saw who it actually was.

"Sakura . . ."

She gazed up at him with a broken, knowing expression, and Naruto's world slowly came to a halt. He lowered his arm and she loosened her grip, but they remained there, staring at each other, relaying what they never could through words through their eyes. Naruto tried to speak. He tried to explain how something had gone wrong, how Sasuke had ripped a second hole through his chest as he stabbed himself in the stomach. He tried to say that he had done everything he could. He tried to smile and say that even though things looked bad now, everything would be fine. Sasuke was home and soon Tsunade would be there to heal him. He had fulfilled his promise to her, wasn't that nice? Now she could stop being sad and move on with her life, just like he could.

But even Naruto, with all his optimism, could not continue the charade any longer. His vision blurred and his throat constricted. He had so much to tell her, but all he could say was, "I'm sorry."

The next thing he knew, Sakura had pulled him into a tight hug and his body went limp against hers. He sobbed into her neck and clutched onto the back of her medical jacket. Securing him in her strong hold, Sakura lowered them to the floor and leaned against the wall. She cradled him against her, saying nothing, staining herself with his tears and blood. One of her hands hovered over his torso until she found the source of his internal injury. Focusing her chakra to her hand, she immediately began to heal it, all while comforting him. Her fingers ran through his blond hair, and she held his head close as she gently shushed him. She was being the stronghold that he had never managed to be for her.

Oh, how the world had been reversed.

Delirious in his heartache, Naruto buried himself deeper into her neck and murmured miserably, "I didn't kill him . . . I didn't kill him . . ."

Sakura kissed the top of his head—still matted with Sasuke's blood—and held him tighter. "I know you didn't," she answered in a shaky whisper.

After an undeterminable amount of time, Naruto came to his senses enough to feel Sakura shaking against him. Snuffling and taking in air in large gulps, he opened his eyes and lifted his head just enough to see her face. Sakura's eyes were shut tightly, tears streaming from their corners, and she had pressed her lips together to stop herself from sobbing aloud. Naruto's heart sank at the sight. She was trying so hard to be strong for him when it should have been the other way around.

Lifting his head, Naruto caressed Sakura's cheek in his hand and waited for her to slowly blink open her eyes. Even swollen and puffy with tears, they were the most beautiful shade of green that he had ever encountered. He wanted to comfort her to the best of his abilities. He wanted to kiss her and hold her close and tell her that he would never let anything else break her heart because he would take care of her as long as he still had breath in his lungs. But he was already so broken . . . the thought of one more rejection was unbearable.

So instead, he leaned his forehead against hers and apologized one more time. He wasn't sure why. Sakura just shook her head sadly and clung to him as a fresh wave of tears came, pressing her face into his shoulder and sobbing openly. Wrapping his arms around her, Naruto tried to shield her from all the pain and the hurt . . . but he knew it was too late. The damage had been done.

Suddenly, the hall was alive with movement as a nurse guided a disheveled looking Tsunade down the hall and pointed to the emergency room. Her heels clicked violently against the tile as she sprinted to the room and burst through the doors. Despite how much he wanted to believe that he had saved his friend, that he had been fast enough, or even that a shard of hope still remained . . . Naruto knew it was too late.

It had always been too late.

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><p>To be continued . . .<p>

**Author's Note:** Well, it's that time of year again, so I'm going to be considerably busier. Consequently, there might be some more time between chapters, but the story will go on! Thanks for reading, and keep checking back!


	7. A Teacher's Advice part 1

**Author's Note: Okay, first off, sorry for the huge delay on this chapter. I've been incredibly busy, and to ease my inactivity, I've decided to post this next chapter in two parts. Hopefully there won't be as big of a time gap next time. But anyway, thanks for sticking with the story, and as always, read, review, and enjoy!**

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 (part 1): A Teacher's Advice<strong>

Naruto awoke the next morning in a hospital bed, exhausted and stripped down to his boxers, without any real memory of how he had gotten there. The first things he noticed, aside from his location, were the bandages wrapped around his torso and right hand. The second was that his old teacher was sitting at his bedside.

"Good morning, Naruto."

"Gah!"

Okay, so maybe Kakashi had assisted him in the second realization.

After the initial shock had worn off, Naruto blinked his eyes and stared openly at his old sensei, trying to fit the pieces back together. Suddenly, his memory of the previous night flooded his mind, and he was pulled into a depression so deep that he had trouble finding the energy to properly address Kakashi. To bide himself some time, Naruto glanced around the room, trying to fill in the gaps of his memory. His painted fox mask sat on the bedside table to his left, a small crack running from the forehead to the left eye socket. Ah, yes, he seemed to remember throwing it at the wall, but he hadn't realized that he had put so much force behind his throw. Next he noticed that his ANBU uniform had been cleaned and folded next to the mask. All the blood—the evidence—of Sasuke's death had been wiped clean. Running a hand over himself, he also realized that the blood that had stained his skin and hair had been cleaned as well. How long had he been out?

Slowly turning his head back to his old sensei, Naruto found him patiently waiting for him to pull himself back together, something close to pity in his eye. "Kakashi-sensei . . ." Naruto started, surprised at how hollow his voice sounded. Kakashi nodded in response. Naruto's eyes shied away from his, flicked over his own clean and bandaged body, and then reluctantly returned. "What happened?"

Sighing softly, as if it pained him to recount the series of events, Kakashi folded his hands in his lap and leaned his elbows on his knees. "You passed out last night, mostly from exhaustion, but you were wounded as well," he explained calmly.

Naruto furrowed his brow. For a second he considered telling Kakashi that all the blood had been Sasuke's, but then he glanced at the bandages and thought twice about it. Still, he could not recount suffering from any injuries. "Wounded?"

Kakashi nodded. "You had internal bleeding as well as a punctured lung," he explained, pointing to the bandages around Naruto's torso. "And on a less serious note, your right hand looked like it had been burned quite badly. After you passed out, Sakura brought you in here and oversaw the healing of the remainder of your injuries. She was still here when I came in."

Unfortunately, Naruto began to remember everything Kakashi had said. He recounted the bursting pain near his ribs and the electrical shock to his hand when he had first attempted to pull Sasuke's sword from his bleeding body. As for the passing out . . . he remembered crying with Sakura in the hall—his distressed tears sometimes interrupted by more serious fits of sobs—and growing limper and quieter in her hold until he felt nothing. The last thing he remembered was the scent of her hair and the feeling of her wet tears drying against his neck. And of course, he remembered the overwhelming feeling of despair, the all-consuming hopelessness that accompanied such a tragedy. He wondered if he'd ever manage to pick up the pieces of himself enough to move on. After all, he had still been trying to get over Sasuke's betrayal from seven years ago . . . and this seemed much more serious.

Kakashi sat quietly while Naruto pondered all this. For a moment, Naruto wondered if he had been sent to tell him the final outcome of Sasuke's struggle to live . . . wait, no, that wasn't correct. His struggle to die. But though he knew the outcome in his mind, just as he had known it when he had first lifted Sasuke's lifeless head in his hands, he wasn't sure if he could handle hearing it aloud just yet. To further distract himself, Naruto tried to change topics.

"So where is Sakura now?"

Kakashi straightened slightly in his seat and immediately answered, "I sent her home. She told me that she had been working an all night shift and was just getting ready to leave when you came in. That, coupled with the emotional toll . . . well, she needed a break."

Naruto's hands clenched around the sheets. His despair had given way to anger, and he wasn't really sure why. Kakashi had no right to send Sakura away. She was supposed to be here, with him, helping him get through this. She couldn't just leave him with this burden that he wasn't ready—or ever would be ready—to handle. It wasn't fair. He didn't stop to think that Sakura _had_ been with him, as Kakashi had previously stated, but he had been too incapacitated to notice.

Taking a deep breath, Naruto tried to calm himself. It didn't work too well.

"When will she be back?" he asked, keeping his eyes focused on his hands so he would not have to see Kakashi evaluating him with a quizzical gaze.

Kakashi paused before answering, "I'm not sure."

This shouldn't have annoyed Naruto as much as it did. His hands trembled, and he wondered how long he'd be forced to endure this. With a cruel twist of irony, he realized that his predicament was painfully similar to his hospital stint after the Valley of the End. He tried not to think about it.

There was a long silence throughout the room. Naruto didn't know what to say. Quite frankly, everything seemed redundant and unwelcome, and he didn't want to end up shouting, as he feared he would the second he opened his mouth.

So Kakashi took it upon himself to start the conversation once more. "How are you feeling?"

Naruto knew that the question was posed from a medical point of view, but he couldn't help but feel as if Kakashi wanted to check on his mental health as well. Things were so complicated now. He was a volcano about to burst with all of his suppressed emotions, but the last thing he wanted to do was bring them to the surface. It was a lose-lose situation. But still, Kakashi needed an answer. "I'm fine," Naruto mumbled towards his sheets and ran a hand over his ribs.

Kakashi surveyed him with his one visible eye that was just as perceptive as the one he kept hidden. "Are you sure? I understand if you want to talk—"

"I said I'm fine!" Naruto cut him off, surprised by his own volume. Out of his peripheral vision, he saw Kakashi straighten completely in his seat, his expression unflinching. Always so calm, wasn't he? Even now, when everything had finally fallen apart. Naruto was envious of and sickened by his composure. He could feel a lecture coming on. Kakashi would sigh and pat his shoulder as he preached about the burdens of being a shinobi or some shit like that. He didn't think that he could bear it, so Naruto beat him to the punch. "You talk like you understand everything that happened last night, but you weren't even here. Sakura and I needed you, and you weren't here," he spewed off without thought. Naruto knew that he was out of line, but he didn't care. He needed to get this anger off his chest before it consumed him, body and soul. Holding back tears of anger, he continued, "You've been gone for so long. You weren't even there when we found him four years ago!" Why was he bringing that up? Naruto knew that Kakashi had been hospitalized . . . so why? "Did you not care? I was the only one left. I was the only one left who was trying to find him! And now . . . and now . . ."

Naruto's anger slowly drained away, but his fists would not stop gripping the sheets. It was almost as if he feared that if he let go of his grip of something tangible, he would lose himself all together. The silence in the room was broken only by his labored breathing, and when he chanced a glance at Kakashi, he was still watching him silently. But this time, the pity had been replaced with something else. Something harder.

"Are you finished?" he asked, and Naruto almost flinched. Admonished, but still supportive of his words, Naruto nodded. Kakashi sighed in response, his hard gaze melting. "I'm sorry that I didn't come sooner, but I assure you, Naruto, I came as soon as I was informed," Kakashi explained, his voice softening along with his expression.

Again, Naruto nodded. Of course. It had been pure chance that Sakura had been at the hospital. Even the Hokage—the most influential individual of the village—had needed a few minutes before she was able to make it to the scene. Besides, if what Kakashi had said had been true, Naruto had probably already passed out by the time the message had even been delivered to Kakashi. He had no right to be angry about something that was out of both of their control.

For a moment, Naruto thought that Kakashi was simply going to stop there, but he kept going. "Sometimes, Naruto . . . I think you forget that you were not the only one close to Sasuke."

Naruto had half a mind to exclaim that that was not true, but his other half respected Kakashi too much to further insult him. Over the years, Naruto had mastered the art of determining Kakashi's expressions from what he saw from a single eye. At least, he liked to think he had. But this expression was hard to make out. Kakashi seemed contemplative and perhaps . . . nostalgic? But there was something else, too. It was almost as if disclosing such personal thoughts saddened him. Naruto couldn't remember ever seeing Kakashi truly upset. Kakashi had scolded him plenty of times, sure, but he never cried or even raised his voice unless it was a life-or-death situation, and sometimes, not even then.

"Sasuke was my student. I gave him everything I thought he would need to become a promising shinobi." Here, Kakashi paused, and Naruto stared at him openly, waiting patiently for more. "But even with my guidance . . . I couldn't stop him. I even gave him a tool for revenge, the very tool that he would use to meet his end." Kakashi's voice was even and soft, but Naruto imagined that the voice of any lesser man would be trembling. A montage of crackling lightning flashed through Naruto's mind, quickly followed by the arc of Sasuke's katana and the unforgiving squelch of it colliding with flesh. He screwed his eyes shut to refrain from being sick. But still, Kakashi was not finished. "I did care about Sasuke. While you all were on my team, I even tried to act as a temporary father to him, as Iruka had done for you. I thought I could help him, but I was unsuccessful. If anyone is to be held responsible for his death, it should be me," he continued in his soft, calm voice.

Naruto was mortified. Kakashi couldn't take the blame. It was his alone to shoulder. "K-Kakashi-sensei," Naruto sputtered. "I'm the one who failed the mission. You shouldn't—"

"Naruto," Kakashi interrupted. Suddenly, his voice had regained its original volume and tone, and Naruto was forced—from nothing more than habit—to hush and listen. "You didn't fail. You did everything you could, and that's important for you to understand. Losing a teammate isn't easy, but it's something that every shinobi must deal with at some point in their life."

As much as he wanted to argue, Naruto grudgingly nodded and bowed his head. Why was it that he was prepared to die at any moment for the sake of the ones he loved, but couldn't even begin to accept the idea of them dying in his place? Despite his desire to be comforted by the words Kakashi had said, his nagging desire to disagree finally won in the end. "I could have been faster," Naruto murmured towards the sheets. His hands started shaking—oh, God, it was happening again—and he gripped the sheets harder in hopes that Kakashi wouldn't notice. It was all in vain, though. He knew Kakashi saw everything. "I could have realized what he was doing and detained him early. I could . . . I could have rushed forward and taken the blow for him. I knew something was wrong. If I had just made the connection sooner . . . I would have had time." Naruto's voice started shaking along with his hands, and it became difficult for him to see the sheets through the blanket of tears that threatened to fall at the slightest provocation.

This time, Kakashi didn't sigh. Instead, he calmly extended his left hand and placed it on Naruto's shoulder. Though he didn't look up, the simple touch helped ease his shaking. Naruto bit his lip and allowed two wet drops to plop down onto the back of his hand. Then, taking in a ragged breath, he slowly regained control of himself.

"You can't live your life focusing on the 'what ifs'. They'll eat you alive," Kakashi counseled calmly.

"Y-yes, sensei." Even after all these years, Naruto had never dropped the honorary suffix. Though he was now considered Kakashi's equal in rank, and though Kakashi had often hinted that Naruto may have surpassed him in power, Naruto could never ignore the fact that Kakashi was wiser than him several times over. That, in itself, was an invaluable quality. Besides, he could only imagine where he would be if it were not for Kakashi's guidance over the years.

After Jiraiya's death, Kakashi had been the one to step in as a temporary father. He had been the one to tell him about his father, claiming that it was high time he knew about his heritage. He had given Naruto one of his father's old scrolls detailing the execution of the Hiraishin, along with the three-pronged kunai that he had held only a few hours prior. But perhaps most importantly, he had given Naruto a picture of his parents, both grinning foolishly like only two people in love could. It was Naruto's most treasured possession and one of the few pictures that he owned. Tsunade had been furious when she heard that Kakashi had revealed the identities of Naruto's parents to him—she claimed that it had not been any one person's right to disclose such information—but Kakashi had taken the heat without complaint.

A small silence hung in the air as he recounted all this, but once Kakashi deemed it appropriate to continue, he said, "Sometimes we think that self-sacrifice is the better option. But sometimes . . . even that isn't enough." For a moment, a brief image of Kakashi's scarred left eye ran through Naruto's mind, and he wondered if he was still referring to Sasuke. "Also, it's important to realize that the circumstances for Sasuke's death were different. Sasuke didn't die from an enemy's attack or because you failed to protect him. As much as we wish it wasn't true, Sasuke wanted to die, and we must accept that."

It was painful hearing what he knew in his head be expressed through Kakashi's words. It made the fact inescapable. Sasuke had wanted to die . . . but . . . but . . . "But why? Why would he want to die? I don't understand," Naruto mumbled helplessly and held his head in his hands.

"We can never truly know his reasons. But knowing Sasuke's personality, we can only assume that they must have been incredibly serious for him to go to such lengths," Kakashi mused, and Naruto had no choice but to agree.

Again, Naruto's mind was plagued with doubt. Had retrieving Sasuke really been the right path, or was forcing him to return to Konoha truly a fate worse than death? Or had it been killing his brother that had finally sent Sasuke over the edge? He could never be sure, not now.

After Naruto had given another silent nod, Kakashi continued, "But maybe it is better this way." Here he paused to see if Naruto would contradict him. Naruto lifted his head and gave Kakashi a quizzical look, demanding to know how he could say such a thing. "Perhaps Sasuke has finally found peace. He had a difficult life, like most shinobi, and he took the path that he thought was best. Plus, by committing Seppuku . . ." Kakashi paused and looked away, as if saying the very name had wounded him. Once again, Naruto wondered if Kakashi was still referring to Sasuke. Clearing his throat and raising his head to look at Naruto once again, Kakashi continued, "It was the most honorable death he could manage."

Somehow, this didn't make Naruto feel any better. So what if Sasuke had died honorably? He had still died. But the more he thought about it, the more he started to agree with the inevitability of Kakashi's words. Yes . . . maybe, in the end, this was all he could do for Sasuke. Maybe all he could do was stand aside and give Sasuke the only thing he could: fulfillment through death.

"I guess . . . I guess you're right, sensei," he managed to say. Yes, he could accept this. He could alleviate the blame, if only for a while, in hopes that Sasuke had somehow found peace through his decision. Besides, hadn't his main goal been to give Sasuke a life of happiness? He may not have been able to provide him a life, but at least he had given him happiness. Of course, this didn't mean that he was pleased with the situation—who could expect him to be?—or completely emotionally stable. Even knowing that death had been Sasuke's ideal choice, Naruto knew that if he could, he would have saved him. He hadn't been ready to give Sasuke up, and he doubted that he ever would.

There was another long pause between them in which Kakashi returned his arm to his side and Naruto continued to stare at the sheets. Finally, Naruto said, "We'll need to make funeral arrangements."

Naruto could have been imagining things, but he swore he saw a small smile twinkle in Kakashi's eye. "Yes, you're right."

"It should be small. I don't want people who weren't directly in contact with Sasuke to attend. I don't want there to be any chance of anyone trying to defile his grave because of his desertion," Naruto continued in a hollow voice. It only seemed natural that he should be the one to set up the funeral. All of Sasuke's relatives were dead, and he had been his brother . . . in everything but blood. "He wouldn't want that. He wouldn't want people to be there unless they actual gave a damn about him. He wouldn't want them to come out of political ties or something," he explained. Surprisingly enough, Kakashi agreed.

"Those sound like fine terms," Kakashi said with a small, comforting nod. "But you need your rest. I can handle all the necessary arrangements." With that being said, Kakashi stood and ruffled Naruto's mess of blond hair with his hand. Naruto smiled despite himself, and swatted the offensive hand away. "Is there anything else you need from me?"

Though he was caught a bit off guard by the question, Naruto thought hard about his answer. After a few moments, the answer was clear. "Kakashi-sensei," he began a little hesitantly. When he nodded for him to continue, Naruto asked, "Why did you quit the ANBU?"

Now it was Kakashi's turn to ponder his answer. His expression—or, his right eye—softened, and his shoulders sagged under the weight of the old memories. "I suppose I realized that my talents were needed elsewhere," Kakashi alluded, but to no avail.

Naruto furrowed his brow and frowned in confusion. He had never been one to interpret cryptic meanings. "What do you mean?" he implored his old teacher to explain.

Searching for words, Kakashi scratched the back of his head until he finally found a second explanation. "As a member of the ANBU, you are expected to carry out very dangerous assignments for the village's sake." Naruto nodded in response; everyone knew that. "Though this can include a number of things, it mostly includes assassinations. I know you, Naruto, and while we have some major differences, I feel like you'll come to the same conclusion I did," Kakashi paused, choosing his words carefully. His gaze traveled over the room, but Naruto imagined Kakashi was looking at something far beyond the four walls. "No matter how justified your actions are, no matter how many lives you save, no matter how much it benefits the village . . . killing will not bring you peace," Kakashi concluded and allowed his eye to land on Naruto once more.

His face paling, Naruto immediately responded, "I didn't kill him."

The pity resurfaced in Kakashi's expression. "I know you didn't," he responded, just as Sakura had. "That's not what I was referring to . . . I think you know that."

Naruto nodded sheepishly. Yes, he thought he did know, but the event was still so fresh in his mind—it threatened to burst through his conscience at any moment—that it was hard to think of anything else. Recognizing his inner turmoil, Kakashi lightly grasped Naruto's shoulder once more and gave him what would have been a warm smile had his mask not obscured his face.

"You'll get through this. It may not seem like it now, but you will. Those who care about you, who've been by your side for all of this, they're still here for you. That much hasn't changed," Kakashi assured him. After giving his shoulder one small squeeze, Kakashi returned his hand to his side and said, "Now get some rest."

For perhaps the first time that day, a true smile touched Naruto's face. "Thank you, sensei . . . for everything," he said and watched as Kakashi smiled, waved, and exited the room.

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><p>To be continued . . .<p> 


	8. A Teacher's Advice part 2

**Author's Note: **Sorry that it has been so long, but here is the next (partial) installment. Read, review, and enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 7 (part 2): A Teacher's Advice<strong>

Sakura didn't return to the hospital until well after noon. In the time before her visit, Naruto had exhausted his mind with further thoughts of Sasuke and his current situation. Unfortunately, he didn't get much farther than he already had, but he did succeed in giving himself a substantial headache.

When Sakura finally arrived at his door, she carried a small vase with a single daffodil and knocked gently on the door frame. "May I come in?" she asked a bit meekly. She looked terrible. Dark circles hung underneath her bloodshot eyes. Her pink hair, though pulled back in a braid, was in slight disarray. Her normally professional wardrobe was swapped with a large black sweater that Naruto had seen her wear around her house and a pair of standard issue navy pants. Naruto didn't know what he had been expecting—was she supposed to come in with silky hair, a glowing complexion, and a glamorous dress?—but it most certainly hadn't been this. Still, he couldn't imagine that he looked much better.

By this time, Naruto had been brought some fresh clothes, and a clean white shirt covered his bandaged torso. He gave her a small smile—it was all that he could muster—and motioned for her to come in. "Do you really need to ask?"

Shrugging, Sakura explained, "Well I'm not on duty anymore, so it's just standard procedure . . ." She stopped suddenly, as if just realizing that he had been joking, and shook her head. Walking over to his bed side table, Sakura placed the small vase next to his mask and walked around the bed to sit down in the chair that Kakashi had occupied earlier. Naruto tried to feel grateful for the small act of kindness, but he couldn't help but feel as if giving him a flower implied that he was due for an extended stay.

They didn't talk about Sasuke, not directly. Of course, one of the first things that Sakura had asked him was how he was feeling. Then she went on to explain the cause of his wounds. As he had expected, the burden of the Hiraishin had caused complications with his internal organs, which, in turn, was the main reason he was still being detained at the hospital.

"Tsunade-shishou just wants to see how the healing progresses. Of course, it's practically perfect again, thanks to your rapid healing . . . but still, she doesn't want to take any chances," Sakura explained.

Naruto nodded and said, "I understand."

There was a long pause in which both of them stared intently at their hands. This was awful, Naruto decided. Neither one of them wanted to be the one to admit that Sasuke was dead, even though the fact was painfully obvious. It was the same rule they had abided by after Sasuke had deserted the village . . . and look how far that had gotten them.

After a few moments, Naruto decided that something—anything!—had to be said. Even if he didn't come right out and discuss Sasuke, he had to break the silence so his mind wouldn't stray back to the visage of his broken body lying in a pool of blood. "And how are _you_ feeling?" he asked quietly.

Sakura glanced up at him, her eyes dull even as she smiled. "I'm alright," she murmured. "I mean, I'm not great." A tear strangled laugh left her throat. "You know, but, I'm well, I guess. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm alright," she rambled on, turning her head away from him. She lifted her hand to push a stand of hair out of her face, but Naruto couldn't help but notice how her wrist rubbed at the corner of her eye in the same motion. Taking a deep breath, Sakura looked at the ceiling and blinked her eyes rapidly. When she seemed to have herself under control, she swallowed hard and smiled back at him. Despite her efforts, it quickly faltered and broke into a laugh-sob, and she held her head in her hands to get a hold of herself.

It pained Naruto to see her like this, vulnerable and fragile in her too-big sweater, her skin ghostly pale against the black of mourning. Not caring about physical boundaries, Naruto reached out, pulled one of her hands away from her face, and held it in his own. "I'm sorry . . ." was all he could think to say.

Shaking her head, Sakura wiped her eyes and let out a strange, bitter laugh. "Why are you always apologizing to me?" she asked, but did not pull her hand away. "It's not your fault . . . You didn't do anything wrong." Her hand gripped his with surprising strength while she tried in vain to clear her eyes of the onslaught of tears.

Naruto hadn't seen Sakura cry openly in years. Ever since she had picked up her apprenticeship with Tsunade, she had hardened herself to the world. That wasn't to say that she hadn't let a crying fit slip every now and again, but after they had transitioned into their later teens, the instances had stopped completely. Perhaps this was the result of bottling her naturally emotional-self up for far too long. Naruto knew the feeling. It seemed as if they had both found their breaking point.

The sight was becoming more and more unbearable, and finally when Naruto could no longer idly stand by like some half-ass friend, he said screw the boundaries and scooted down on his bed so that he could envelope Sakura in a full hug. He ignored the sting against his ribs—odd, why hadn't the Kyuubi fixed that yet?—when they made contact. He also ignored the fact that he wasn't wearing pants; it didn't seem relevant. There was nothing sexual about this, and he'd be a damn fool if he tried anything when Sakura was in such a complex mental state. There was a slight hesitation on Sakura's part in which she tried to stifle her crying. But with one mighty intake of air, she broke down into sobs and returned the hug with full force.

Sakura pressed her face into his neck, shaking from the force of her misery. Her nails dug into his shoulders hard enough to leave marks on any lesser man. Truthfully, it was painful, but Naruto would have taken twelve chidoris to the heart if it meant that he could ease Sakura's pain.

Eventually, Sakura's sobs gave way to tears, which in turn gave way to shaky words. "I-I knew this w-would happen," she sniffled into his skin. Her hard grip melted away, and she sat propped up against him, defenseless and broken by the world. For a moment, Naruto's heart sank. So, she knew he would fail her? Well, that was disheartening. "It was that . . . that stupid promise. I sh-should have never asked you . . ."

Naruto tried not to let his body tense up at the insult, but it was difficult. Even he could not keep his composure after such a low blow. But there was something in Sakura's voice that made him bite his tongue. She sounded delirious, like she didn't realize that she was still rambling on in a shaky monotone. But she was not finished.

"I knew Sasuke was lost to us . . . I think I always knew. I-I asked you to do the impossible, and that wasn't fair," she continued miserably. Naruto could hear the shift in her voice, and suddenly, he wasn't insulted anymore. "And then . . . and then I thought you were gone, too, and I felt so horrible." Her speech was broken by a small hiccup-sob. "Because of me . . . because of the promise."

Suddenly, Naruto recalled the conversation he had with Sakura three years prior and how depressed she had seemed by the thought that Naruto was still fighting to uphold his promise to her. Slowly but surely, he began to fit in the missing pieces that had eluded him for so long.

"B-but then you really were gone, and I went from having both of you to having neither of you. And . . . and I was lost," Sakura continued, still holding him in her limp grip.

Now Naruto was confused. They had both agreed that him leaving the village to train with Jiraiya would be the best option for their cause. Had Sakura always felt this way? He had never imagined that her vulnerability could have been so deep-rooted. But perhaps that was why she had tried to hide it for so long. She had been afraid of her own insecurities, afraid of being a burden, afraid of standing in the way of their team's progress. Sakura was the type of person that hated to make a fool out of herself, and if she happened to be so careless as to make a mistake once, she made it her personal goal to never make that mistake again, no matter what the cost.

"And I tried . . . so hard to be better, for both of you, but . . . but . . ." she broke off into deep breaths interrupted by hiccups, and Naruto rubbed her back and held her closer to him. "I just left everything to you, because I couldn't handle it . . . and look what happened!" She buried her head in his neck until her crying passed, and then she pulled away to look at his face. Tears collected around the brims of her eyes, making them appear red and swollen as they stared up at him.

Finally, Naruto could not stay silent any longer. He raised his hand to cup her cheek and whispered, "Shh, Sakura. It'll be alright. You did everything you could—"

"No!" she protested and pulled away from his gentle hold. "Don't you get it? I didn't. I gave up. I can't fix that!" She took a moment to let her words sink in, sniffling a bit to herself, and then her defensive fire sputtered and died, and she was vulnerable once again. "You didn't see how you looked last night. Tearing through the halls, covered in blood. You were screaming in this voice I've never heard before," she shakily explained. Slowly, almost hesitantly, her eyes glanced up at him again and she whispered, "Your eyes were red. I barely recognized you at first . . . and I thought, 'My God . . . I did this to him.'" As she spoke, her bottom lip wavered, but she pushed on in spite of it. "I gave you too much of the burden. I let you shoulder everything, and I hate myself for that. I'm so sorry . . ." she broke off, plagued by her inner turmoil.

Suddenly, everything made sense. Yes, Sakura had been heartbroken over Sasuke's death—just as Naruto had been—but that wasn't the only thing that troubled her. She was distant not because she blamed _him_, but because she blamed herself. She felt inadequate and guilty in his presence, but at the same time, she needed his friendship to keep her stable. It was a dangerous mixture for her state of mind to say the least, for what could she do if she could not find solace in him, her one piece of consistency in her life?

And maybe . . . maybe that was all he could ever be. A constant variable. A measuring block of her sanity. A friend.

But that was a problem for another day. Right now, he needed to fulfill his duty to her, whatever that may be. He needed to put his own wants and desires to the side so that he could focus on her needs. Besides, wasn't that enough? Compared to foolishly rambling on about his affections or blatantly pursuing her, wasn't that a purer form of love? Naruto thought so.

Wrapping her in his arms, Naruto held Sakura's weak and fragile body close to his strong yet equally vulnerable frame. "I think . . . that we both need to stop apologizing to each other," he said seriously. He could feel Sakura shaking her head against his shoulder, so he continued before she had a chance to interrupt. "We blame ourselves for everything, Sakura. We have to stop. Some things are just above our control."

Now, Naruto wasn't one who believed in fate controlling his life, but after he had pushed so hard against it only to have it spit in his face at the moment of victory, he couldn't help but feel that some things were above the powers of man, or ninja for that matter. How else could such sad fates—the death of his parents, Sasuke's wayward path, the loss of so many good men to war—be justified?

But Sakura didn't want to believe it. She wanted to stay in her state of self-loathing until she ceased to feel anything at all. "But what if they're not? What if I had been better? Stronger? I could have . . ."

"You could have what, Sakura?" Naruto asked, a strange mixture of impatience and gentleness in his voice. He heard his own doubts echoed in her words, and for the first time, he was able to answer them in confidence. "Nothing that we could have done would have changed anything. Even if we brought him back . . . even our happy ending would have been condemning him to something that he didn't want." The words flowed out of him as if they had come from some other source. What was this talk that sounded like giving up? Was it giving up, or was it acceptance . . . the acceptance that had eluded him and thus plagued his mind for years?

He didn't know. And maybe that was alright for now. He didn't need to know, not yet. And because he couldn't fully trust his own words at the moment due to their questionable source, he decided to quote a man much wiser than himself. "You can't live your life focusing on the 'what ifs'. They'll eat you alive," Naruto repeated gently.

Sakura's urgent, pleading expression slowly melted away, leaving behind a sad, confused countenance. Slowly, her body fell forward into him, as if she no longer possessed the strength to keep herself upright. Her forehead pressed into his shoulder, and her body weight was split between their small contact and her position in her chair. Naruto didn't mind the extra burden.

After a dead beat, Sakura moved her head slightly towards him—a polite but incomplete attempt to look at him as she spoke. "When did you get so smart?" she asked with just the small trace of teasing in her voice. The change in tone, no matter how subtle, was a vast improvement to the mood of the situation.

Though he tried not to, Naruto chuckled to himself. "I'm not smart. That's just what Kakashi-sensei told me when I broke down," he admitted with another chuckle. Sakura's shoulders began to shake again, and for a moment, Naruto thought his bluntness might have thrown her into another bout of tears. To his surprise, he heard a muffled laugh instead. He laughed again at the absurdity of it all—here they were, nineteen years old, and they were still quoting their old sensei—but stronger this time. Of course Kakashi had given him the answer. He had always given him the answer when he bothered to ask. It just seemed so ridiculous to be credited for his sagely advice.

Their laughter continued to grow, feeding off each other until it filled the entire room and Naruto had to press a hand to his side to stop his ribs from spasming in pain. It wasn't until they pulled away from each other that Naruto noticed they had both been crying.

Soon the laughter died, and Sakura wiped the tears from her eyes with small, sobering chuckles. "God, Naruto . . . what's wrong with us?" she asked with an exasperated sigh, but underneath her playful tone, Naruto sensed the urgency in her question. She needed reassurance that she wasn't crazy, that what she was feeling was completely normal, that someday life would be perfect like she had dreamed it would be when she was a little girl. He didn't know if he could answer all that for her, but he sure as hell would try.

As it had before, the answer flowed out of him as if some stranger had whispered the words to him in his sleep. And just as before, he said it with confidence. "We're just kids. How are we supposed to know?" How could something so simplified be so true?

Naruto hadn't used that excuse sense he was twelve . . . maybe ten. He had falsely mistaken his graduation from the Academy as his passage into adulthood. He had been ready to die, to kill, to fight for his country without really knowing what it meant. And now, at nineteen, he was still willing to do all those things, but the reality of their weight had finally awoken him from his delusion. Who was he kidding? He may have talked big and dressed like a man—covered his child's face with a mask—but he had so much more to learn. Nineteen . . . compared to his teachers, what did he know about life? Fuck, he couldn't even figure out love.

Sakura seemed to find his insight strangely amusing. She smiled softly, wrapped herself in her own arms, and leaned back in her chair. "I suppose you're right." There was a small pause in which they both seemed to compose themselves. Sakura wiped at her eyes a few more times, and Naruto straightened out his shirt before situating himself in his previous position in the bed. After a moment, Sakura broke her concentration from the pattern of the floor tiles and murmured, "It's hard."

Frowning in confusion, Naruto asked, "What is?"

"Not thinking about the 'what ifs'. Just accepting it for what it is. Knowing that that's how it happened and there's nothing you can do or could have done to ever change it," she elaborated softly. Her honesty caught him a little off guard, and he slowly began to realize how plagued by this obsession Sakura had been for the past few years, just as he had been. "It's so . . . absolute. I think I prefer my self-delusions," she whispered, a serene sort of sadness permeating her words.

It was so true. And how odd it was that they were willing to put themselves through the torment of reliving the situation in different scenarios over and over again in their minds—scrutinizing their performances, fussing over every little detail, wondering if _this_ would have changed something, anything!—just to put off the inevitable truth that what is done, is done.

Naruto couldn't agree more with her. "It is hard. But in the end, I think . . . I think it will be the easier road for us," he decided slowly.

Nodding slowly along with what he said, Sakura agreed, "I think so, too."

An invisible weight seemed to be lifted off Naruto's shoulders. He couldn't exactly identify it at the moment—blame, perhaps, or maybe shame—but he didn't miss its presence. Unfortunately, it still left most of the grief and other assorted emotions, but it also left a small seed of hope and acceptance. It would take time to grow, but hopefully, with enough care and attention, it would be able to flourish inside him as it once had in his childhood.

Naruto and Sakura passed the rest of their visit discussing less touchy subjects, though few came to mind. They talked briefly about the funeral, running over possible invitations—the term "guest list" seemed morbidly out of place—and locations. Sakura constantly reminded him that he needed rest just as he constantly hinted that she should take the next few days off. After several eye rolls, she grudgingly agreed. Naruto wasn't sure how long they talked—he would later find that the whole week would become nothing more than a blur of emotions and half-remembered phrases—but he found the conversation to be a fine escape from his thoughts.

But things could not last forever. The day grew long, and the time came for Sakura to excuse herself. After she stood up to leave, she leaned down to wrap an arm around Naruto's neck in a small hug and said, "I'll see you tomorrow, okay? Get some sleep." She smiled at him when she pulled away, sad and beautiful even in her strained contentment.

She didn't fool him. "Alright, Sakura. And are you sure you're okay?" he asked because he cared about her, even if she only saw it as a friendship.

She hesitated, but was quick to cover up the falter in her smile. "Don't worry about me. I'm tough!" she assured him and raised her right arm in a half-hearted flex. It briefly reminded him that no matter how fragile she looked, Sakura could still break his arm in a single punch.

There she went again, purposefully distancing herself from him so she wouldn't seem weak, dependent. What was most puzzling for him, though, was how she managed to maintain a constant attachment to him. She always seemed so close, but just far enough away to keep him hoping that maybe if he ran fast enough and tried hard enough, he'd be able to catch her. He was still running. He might never stop.

"I know you are," he said, indulging her needs. She smiled at him and turned to leave; he smiled back and watched her go. "Goodbye, Sakura," he called as she walked out the door to leave him alone with his thoughts once again.

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><p>To be continued . . .<p> 


	9. Lilies and Daffodils

**Author's Note: **SO sorry that it has taken me so long to update. I had to make some major plot and writing style decisions, which I hope turn out for the best. As it is, I'm a lot busier than I would like to be, so check back for monthly updates instead of the promised weekly ones. As always, read, review, and enjoy!

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><p><strong>Chapter 8: Lilies and Daffodils<strong>

Time passed slowly for Naruto during his hospital stint. Tsunade performed several procedures to check on the healing progress of his internal organs. Strangely enough, their healing rate was significantly slower than that of his muscle and skin tissue. When Naruto had inquired about the reason for this, Tsunade had tapped her pencil against her full lips a few times before admitting that she wasn't quite sure why. In the end, she speculated that because the structure of organs was more complex than either muscle or skin, it took longer to heal. This did not seem to satisfy her, though, and she refused to accept it as anything more than a theory.

Because of this uncertainty, Tsunade insisted that Naruto stay two extra days in the hospital so she could further study his recovery. Naruto found it difficult to look towards the imposing time with anything less than dread. Confined as he was, Naruto was left with an unpleasant amount of time to think . . . and thinking did nothing to improve his mood.

In order to keep himself from returning to the same fresh memories over and over again, Naruto had to circumvent his own thoughts, which became quite tiring after a while. He did his best not to think about Sasuke's death, but with his funeral quickly approaching, Naruto found it difficult to focus on anything else. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw the lightening blue arc of Sasuke's katana slowly descend towards his stomach. And every time he opened his eyes to wake himself from the nightmare, the lights of the hospital would only remind him of the eerie illumination of the hallway florescent lights. And even when the visions didn't plague him, the sound of Sasuke's hollow voice rang in his ears, as real as if he were standing right next to him. If only that could be true . . .

In the midst of all this, Naruto wondered if he was slowly being driven insane. It seemed like a legitimate concern. However, Sakura's visits helped keep him in his right mind, or so he hoped. Every day she brought a fresh flower, always a daffodil, and everyday Naruto tried to seem as if he had gotten better since she had last visited. He had to be strong for her. He had to hold fast to his conviction to show her that he was doing alright. He had to let her know that if he could get through this, then so could she.

It was hard, though.

Though the blame of Sasuke's death had temporarily been lifted from his conscience, most of the grief remained. It was alright, though, for Naruto knew that nothing more than time could really cure such a wound. He just wished the Kyuubi would hurry up and heal the damn thing already.

When the two days had ended, Naruto was finally released. His first matter of business, unfortunately, was giving Tsunade a detailed account of his mission. Standard procedure, she had explained with the smallest look of apology for the pain the fresh memories must have cost him.

To his surprise, Naruto found it easy to recount the events once he re-entered his ANBU persona. Beneath his mask he was cold. Unfeeling. Detached from the heavy burdens of emotions. This was what it meant to be ANBU. Emotionless, not a longtime friend or brother, but a tool for the village. The relieved burden of his emotions left him feeling slightly cold and empty, and he made a note to reserve such a mindset for missions only. Despite all his concentration, though, the crack in his mask—ripped open from suppressed anger, sorrow, and guilt as well as an encounter with a wooded wall—allowed some emotions to seep through and did not leave him completely unscathed from the experience.

The week was a blur. From what Naruto remembered, he eased himself back into training—which is to say that he only used ninety percent of his energy instead of the full one hundred—and that helped his mental state greatly. Kakashi contacted him a few times to go over the funeral arrangements, which always succeeded in sobering his mood. Eventually, they agreed on a time and place, and Kakashi sent the appropriate information to the appropriate people. The only thing he was certain of was that he did not see Sakura in the few days that he was out of the hospital. They exchanged brief conversations over the phone, but were both too preoccupied with their respective duties to actually visit one another. Naruto thought it was for the best. His emotional state was sporadic enough without being in Sakura's presence. He supposed the same could be said about her.

Before the week was out, Naruto found himself donning his best—and only—suit, unsure of whom he was trying to impress with his formal attire. Surely Sasuke wouldn't have cared if he had shown up clad in all orange, though he probably would have given him an impressive withering look filled with aloof disdain. The thought made Naruto chuckle sadly.

Naruto paced the length of his bedroom a few times, fiddling with his cuff links and trying not to look at the picture that rested on his bedside table. Try though he might, he could not ignore the familiar faces for much longer and found himself inevitably drawn in. Taking great care with the worn frame as he picked it up, Naruto sat down on his bed with a small sigh and allowed himself to be lost in the contents of the photo once more.

His eyes drug over every face, including his own. What a little goon he had been, he thought with the tiniest of smirks. In retrospect, he wished that he had taken the photo more seriously. If he had known that this very photo would become the object of his obsession, then he might have managed to smile a bit for it. Instead, he was locked in an eternal grimace of displeasure at the outcome of his team placement. Irony was indeed a spiteful bitch.

Pulling his eyes away from himself, Naruto glanced over at the twelve-year-old version of Sakura. She looked so incandescently happy; Naruto felt his gut twist unpleasantly. When was the last time he had seen her smile like that?

Kakashi, well, he hadn't changed much. He was still gray haired. Still dressed in that ridiculous mask that Naruto swore to see past one day. Still a somewhat silly but unquestionably wise and trustworthy mentor. Naruto supposed Kakashi might have a few more wrinkles at the corner of his right eye, but he couldn't be sure.

Though he tried to stop himself, Naruto's eye was invariably drawn to the last face in the rag-tag line up. The last time Naruto had allowed himself to stare at the photo, he had wondered if Sasuke had changed from the last time he saw him. He had, though not enough to make him unrecognizable.

In a different life, Sasuke could have been the hero of the village. Talented, handsome, intelligent . . . but all that had been thrown away. Though Sasuke had maintained those qualities, they had been warped into something that was beyond their original intent, clouded by hate, twisted to fit the path of revenge. It was sobering to know that if it hadn't been for a certain series of events, Naruto could have easily fallen in his place, much like he could have fallen into Gaara's place. Still, the thought did little to comfort him.

Finally, Naruto found the strength to tear his eyes away from the photo so that he could place it on his bedside table once again. He would leave over analyzing his thoughts for another day. Today, he had somewhere important to be.

His stomach churning a bit uneasily, Naruto exited his apartment, locked the door behind him, and descended the stairs until he walked along the streets of Konoha.

As he walked towards his destination, Naruto kept his eyes on the ground and his hands in his pockets and allowed his mind to wander. Though he had tried his best to prevent it, news of Sasuke's death spread through the village like wildfire. Some people—those that had formed a vendetta against Sasuke since he deserted the village—seemed almost glad about his passing. Others—the few that had actually known him—were saddened by the loss and tragedy that had befallen the old teammate. Most, however, remained neutral for they were not privy to the sensitive details surrounding Sasuke's history.

There was one group of people, however, whose reactions to Sasuke's death Naruto found distasteful. The elders had been thoroughly pleased, if not a little smug, upon hearing the news of both of the Uchiha's deaths. A massive relief seemed to have washed over them for reasons Naruto had yet to fully understand. But what disgusted Naruto the most was their feigned sense of loss. In the report that Naruto read containing their official response, it had stated that the council grieved deeply for the loss of such fine skill and that they repented the fact that they had questioned Sasuke's true motives when he first left the village. Upon their decree, Sasuke was to be given high honors for felling the villain that was Itachi and equal honor for his noble self-inflicted death. Their bigotry sickened Naruto to the core. Not a month ago, the old wretches had demanded Sasuke's head on a platter.

Pompous bastards.

It wouldn't be long till the elders' opinion of Sasuke spread throughout the village and those with a neutral opinion began to adopt their views. Then the truth would be even further muddied.

Though . . . Naruto supposed it wasn't all bad. At least this would stop people from defiling Sasuke's grave, or so he hoped. Still, he preferred if people knew the truth about Sasuke. He wanted them to know what he was like before Orochimaru had come into his life. He wanted them to see how revenge and hatred had driven him practically mad, how it had broken him and stripped him down to nothing. He wanted them to see the burning fire that had once been in his eyes and the hollowness that had eventually taken its place. He wanted them to see how he had been tormented . . . then maybe they wouldn't be so quick to shower Sasuke with praise for the very thing that finally broke him. Or so Naruto thought.

But then again, who was he to stake such a claim? He could not speak for Sasuke. No one could. Though Naruto had no doubt that he was among the few that knew him the best, he had only known Sasuke for a short time in comparison to the greater scheme of things, and most of that time had been during childhood. The fact that he had no physical proof—besides the picture and the old forehead protector that he still kept well-guarded—of his ties to Sasuke saddened him greatly. There was no evidence besides his word.

Naruto shook the thoughts out of his head as he arrived at his first destination: the Yamanaka flower shop.

The fresh scent of a hundred different types of flowers stung his sensitive nose while a tiny bell sang of his arrival. The shop was empty, but Naruto had hardly taken a second step inside before he heard a familiar voice yell, "Just a second!"

Not a moment later, Ino came bounding in a side door, her long blonde hair streaming behind her as she situated herself behind the counter. Her heels clacked against the tile as she performed the hurried movement. "Oh, hello Naruto," she said, letting out a small breath of relief when she realized that she hadn't kept a "real" customer waiting. Taking a moment to slide an earring into her left earlobe, she asked in a friendly tone, "How can I help you?"

As Naruto made his way through the various displays to the counter, he couldn't help but notice Ino's attire. She wore a black dress that was cinched at the waist, revealing her curves in a flattering—but not overly sexual—way. Her neckline, as with most of her clothing choices, did not favor modesty too well, but it appeared as if she had attempted to remedy it by wearing a red camisole underneath. It helped, sort of. For once, her long hair was not bound in a ponytail, but fell down her back in a heavy curtain and was kept out of her face with the assistance of two barrettes.

Keeping his hands in his pockets, Naruto explained, "Well, I was sort of hoping that I, uh, could pick up a flower." For some reason, he tried to avoid using the word "funeral", though it was obvious by their attire that they were both going to the same event.

It took her a second—she was busy putting her right earring in—but soon Ino's eyes widened a bit in comprehension, and she nodded. "Of course. Was there . . . anything particular you had in mind?" she asked a bit hesitantly.

Naruto shook his head. He had been fortunate enough to attend only a handful of funerals in his life, so he had little to draw reference from. He did know, however, that he did not want a large arrangement. Somehow, he thought that Sasuke would have found it unnecessary. "I just think a single flower would be nice," Naruto mused, thinking back to the Third Hokage's funeral. Laughing a bit awkwardly and scratching the back of his head, Naruto admitted, "I just have no idea what to get."

"Well . . . it all depends on what you want to say," Ino consoled him with a small smile. Naruto smiled back, but hesitated with his answer. After a moment, she folded her hands on the table and busied herself with studying their interlocking patterns. "I know it must not be easy, considering . . ." she broke off and shut her eyes tightly, as if chastising herself for the insensitive phrasing. "I mean, it's hard to summarize everything into one meaning, so you don't have to tell—"

"Hope, I guess," Naruto cut her off, much to Ino's evident surprise. "Hope for something better, for peace. But also friendship. That's important. Something not too girly, either. Or tacky. I just . . . I just want to do him justice, you know? Something he'd approve of," he rambled on, surprising himself by how open he was. It had been one of the few times within the last few days that he actually felt as if he had been honest about what he was thinking.

A small smile touched Ino's lips. "I'll be right back," she said, and began to walk through the various isles of flowers. After some consideration, she brought back a bucket filled with colored irises and hefted it onto the counter. Water sloshed inside the bucket. She studied the flowers for a moment more and then plucked what seemed to be a perfect white blossom from the display. "Here," she said and delicately passed it to him, as if it was as precious as a new born child.

Naruto regarded the flower with a sense of wonder. Its three downward arching petals gave it a sense of fragility, while the upward arching petals seemed to resemble a spear head, giving it a sturdy, if not noble appearance. Beautiful as it was, though, Naruto did not know its true implications.

Sensing his wariness, Ino leaned forward to explain, "It's a white iris." When this did not seem to strike a chord with Naruto, she continued, "The iris is most commonly related to hope, but it is also believed to mean faith and courage. I hope that's not 'too girly' for you."

Naruto beamed. "No, no. It's . . . it's great," he said softly.

Ino nodded, seeming pleased with her selection. "White is a sign of purity. It's often used to express the desire for a pure passing into the next world," she further explained.

"Very fitting . . ." he murmured, twirling the flower slowly between his fingers. It seemed perfect in every way. Breaking himself from his thoughts—which seemed to be a habit of his nowadays—Naruto stuck a hand in his jacket to locate his wallet.

Ino raised a hand. "Please, Naruto, you don't have to pay me." He started to protest, but she insisted. "Think of it as my . . . condolences."

Grumbling a bit, Naruto slipped his wallet back into his jacket and let out the defeated murmur of, "Alright." Though it was difficult for him to accept charity of any kind, Naruto knew that Ino's heart had been in the right place. It would be rude to decline such an obvious gift.

Now that the difficult task of expressing his own condolences was finished, Naruto mentally braced himself for the hardships the afternoon was sure to bring. Well, he should probably hurry up so he could meet them head on. Besides, he didn't want to be late for his final goodbyes.

"Thanks a lot, Ino," Naruto said with a small smile. Ino waved off the thanks. Taking a step back from the counter, Naruto asked, "So I'll see you there, then?"

Suddenly, Ino seemed to be a bit uncomfortable. She scratched the back of her head uncertainly and then dropped her hand to fiddle with her right earring. Her normally strong, bold gaze dropped to the counter, as if fascinated by the patterns in the woodwork. "Well . . . maybe." Naruto stared at her quizzically. Maybe? But she was obviously dressed for the occasion. Why would she be so uncertain? Unless—

"Did Kakashi-sensei not give you an invitation?" he asked, suddenly concerned and angry that Ino had been left out of the loop and therefore insulted. "I told him to invite everyone who had gone through the chuunin exams together—"

Ino laughed and a waved a hand to disrupt his suddenly distraught mood. "No, no, no, it's nothing like that," she assured him. Though she tried to keep a cheery expression, the smile quickly faded from her eyes. There was a small pause before she slowly explained, "It's just . . . I really didn't know Sasuke too well. I liked to pretend that I did, but I didn't." There was another pause in the conversation as Ino inspected the other irises and Naruto tried to think of something reassuring to say. "I mean, I wasn't even a part of any of the retrieval missions . . ." she murmured as she cradled a dark purple bud in her palm. With a small sigh, she turned her eyes back to Naruto, an apologetic smile tugging on the corner of her lips. "I just didn't want my presence to be an insult," she explained with a small shrug.

Naruto stared at her for a moment, unsure of how she could have ever reached that conclusion. But then again, hadn't he wondered something along those lines only minutes ago? If he, one of the people in the village who had been closest to Sasuke, could question how well he had known him, couldn't anyone?

Straightening a bit, Naruto said firmly, "I think you should go." Ino blinked in response, her eyes asking the reproachful question of 'why?' Naruto may not have been good with words, but he was determined to go against his own stereotype, at least for this one instance. "You've obviously thought about this for a while, so that shows that you cared about him. And if you ask me, that's all that really matters," Naruto assured her, flashing a goofy grin that fit poorly with the mood of the situation.

But that was what really mattered, wasn't it? Naruto didn't know too much about spirits, but he guessed that if some of them did choose to linger on the earth, Sasuke's wouldn't have been one of them. All he wanted was freedom. Freedom from revenge. Freedom from his memories. He wouldn't have chosen to hang around once he finally got that, especially not Konoha. But Naruto liked to think that maybe a little part of him stayed. Maybe the part that had found a shred of happiness still lingered, if only in memories.

But whatever part of Sasuke was still hanging around, Naruto was sure it wouldn't badger Ino for coming to pay her respects just because she hadn't spent a certain amount of time with him. So what if she hadn't been best friends with Sasuke? She gave a damn, which was more than could be said for half the village.

Ino's expression softened, and she gave Naruto a small nod. More confident with his words now, Naruto continued, "Besides, I'm sure Sakura would be glad to have you there. Plus you're already dressed . . ."

Ino gave him a true laugh and shook her head. Finally, she seemed to be her rambunctious self once again. "You're right. And I'd hate to waste such a great outfit," she joked and then grew sober again. "And I'm sure you'd do a much better job of consoling Sakura than I would . . . but I'll go."

Naruto shifted, uncomfortable, and scratched at his cheek. "I don't know about that," he mumbled, remembering their first conversation in the hospital. He supposed that after the two of them had their individual breakdowns, it hadn't been a total failure. Each day he had seen her she looked better, a little healthier, but Naruto was sure the credit couldn't fall on him alone. Surely Tsunade, Shizune, Ino, hell even Kakashi-sensei had stepped in. As he seemed to constantly remind himself, he was only one piece in her complicated life.

Raising an eyebrow at him, Ino just shook her head and muttered, "Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that."

Sure that he had heard her wrong, Naruto furrowed his brow and asked, "What?"

"Nothing," Ino sighed in an exaggerated huff and then shooed him away from the counter. "Now get going before you make us both late."

Smirking despite himself, Naruto turned with a small wave and headed for the shop exit. But on his way there, something caught his eye. "Hey, Ino," he called as he turned around again. Ino let out an unnecessary sigh, but nevertheless acknowledged him. "Does every flower have a meaning?" he asked quite seriously.

"Of course," she answered, a bit confused by the change in topic.

Naruto nodded and then pointed to the barrel that held a bundle of familiar blossoms on his left. "Then what does this flower mean?" he asked curiously.

Ino leaned over the counter to get a better look. "A daffodil?" she asked, and Naruto nodded. Her expression softened just a bit, and she asked, "Sakura gave you one, didn't she?"

Naruto blinked in surprise. She had given him several, actually, but how did Ino know that? Perhaps she had been the one to sell them to her. That seemed logical enough. Still, he had to ask, "How did you—"

Ino cut him off with a shrug and walked around the counter to kneel in front of the barrel full of trumpeted flowers. "Just a guess," she explained without explaining anything, a hint of a smile playing across her lips. Gently lifting her hand, Ino cradled a blossom and traced her fingers over the delicate petals. "Daffodils are thought to symbolize hope. But more specifically, hope of a new future or a fresh start. Just like when the daffodil sprouts in early spring after facing a hard winter, it is hoped that the receiver may push through their troubles or sickness and have a beautiful future," she spoke softly, keeping her eyes on the blossom the whole time.

If what she said had been true, then it was easy to see why she would have thought that Sakura had sent him one. If Naruto was in need of anything, it was hope for an untroubled future, and Sakura knew that better than anyone.

Naruto nodded, content with the answer he had received, but it seemed that Ino was not finished. She stared at the flower for a few moments longer, but her eyes appeared to be focused on something very distant. "A very fitting gift, if you ask me. Much better than a rose. Roses are just tacky . . ." she mumbled to herself.

Naruto shifted a bit on his feet and wondered when the hell they started talking about roses. Ino seemed to sense his confusion and quickly collected herself. Standing with all the dignity she normally carried, Ino placed her hands on her hips and gave Naruto a look that practically said, 'Forget about it.'

So he did. Slowly twirling his new iris in the tips of his fingers, Naruto smiled and said, "Thanks again, Ino." This had been exactly what he had needed. A short, somewhat light-hearted talk with no one asking him how he was feeling or what he would do next. It was a short mental respite from what was about to come.

Ino shrugged, but smiled at him all the same. "No problem. Now go! I have to find a necklace to match these earrings," she claimed with a little bit of a flourish before turning to walk back into her home entrance to the shop. Leave it to Ino to hide her emotions with bossiness. Naruto shook his head, but nevertheless obeyed and found himself out on the street once again.

He was temporarily disoriented by the sunshine that flooded the street. Despite the heavy connotations that surrounded it, Naruto had to admit that it was a perfect day. Civilians bustled by on the street, apparently oblivious to the dark shadow that lingered over the village. That would change soon, though. Upon Naruto's request, Sasuke's funeral was to be a closed event, open only to those who knew him personally. No politicians. No third parties. Just those who cared about him. Needless to say, it was projected to be a small affair.

Reports of Sasuke's burial place would be released in three days so that the villagers could pay their respects to the newly honored shinobi. Perhaps then the village would grieve for him. But as it was, on such a beautiful, cloudless day, not even the sky could shed a tear for him.

Lost in such thoughts, Naruto continued his slow shuffle towards the memorial grounds where Sasuke was to be buried next to the old Uchiha memorial. He might have traveled the whole way like this if a gentle tug on his elbow hadn't pulled him back into reality. Naruto turned, startled, but smiled when he saw who it was.

"Hey Sakura," he said simply. She smiled back.

Her hair was pinned back in an intricate bun constructed by two braids. Naruto couldn't begin to understand how she had done it. As was customary, Sakura was dressed in black, but unlike Ino's dress, hers was very modest. The neckline went up to her collar bones, the flowy sleeves nearly reached her elbows, and the hem extended down to her knees. Though she looked better than she had the morning after Sasuke's death, the black fabric made her appear even paler than normal and the sagging cinched waist of the dress suggested that she might not have been eating properly. Regardless—and Naruto knew that he should not be paying attention to such things at such sensitive times—she was still beautiful in a sad sort of way.

"Mind if I walk with you?" she asked, releasing his elbow.

"'Course not," he assured her, and she fell into step beside him. Silence stretched between them, but Naruto didn't mind much. His mind was so jumbled that it almost seemed easier not to put his thoughts into words, at least for now. A time would come where they would have time to talk, but that time was not today, at least not right now.

After a few minutes of traveling in companionable silence, Naruto noticed that Sakura was also carrying a single white flower with her. His first instinctive response was relief. Good, he hadn't completely butchered his flower selection. But when he identified the familiar blossom, a strange mix of emotions invaded his chest.

"You brought him a daffodil?" he asked abruptly.

Caught off guard by his sudden outburst, Sakura glanced up at him and then down at the flower in her hand before she seemed to make the connection. "Oh, yeah, I did . . . and I see you brought a lily," Sakura noted. The little upturn of her mouth made Naruto think that she already knew its implied meaning.

But Naruto would not be distracted from what he wanted to know. "Why?" Naruto asked, unsure what this pressing desire to understand her intent came from. It felt familiar, yet very distant.

Raising the flower to her nose, Sakura gazed unfocussed at the ground ahead of her. "I gave him one a long time ago when he was sick. He probably wouldn't even remember . . . He was out for so long . . ." she mumbled, her lips gently grazing the petals.

There was a beat of silence. "You brought me a daffodil," he said a bit more quietly.

Breaking her gaze on the ground, Sakura regarded him with a slightly confused expression, seeming a bit perturbed by his sudden intensity in this odd conversation topic. "Yes, I did. Several, actually."

Naruto averted his gaze, a little abashed that he was bringing up such petty topics amongst this time of mourning. But some things, like his insatiable curiosity, could not be changed of stopped. "Is there any connection?" he asked, glancing back to her.

Something in Sakura's expression—maybe the soft, tired look around her eyes, or how the corners of her lips sagged before she could force them into a soft smile—alerted Naruto that he may have been too blunt with his question. He had never been one for words. Uncomfortable, Naruto almost shrugged the question off and asked her to forget about it, but Sakura surprised him by coming back with an unguarded answer before he could do any such thing. "There is. It's a message of hope to two of my teammates, and two important people in my life. Different messages, but hopeful nevertheless," she explained very matter of factly, but in the soft manner that she possessed that made the message meaningful anyway.

Well that certainly gave him something to think about.

But before Naruto could ruin the moment by over analyzing the comment as best as his thick skull would allow, Sakura gave him a genuine smile and said light-heartedly, "It's also my favorite flower."

Naruto laughed harder than he was expecting himself to, which earned him a laugh from Sakura too. Indulging in the joke for just a moment, he parried, "Oh, so you couldn't get me _my_ favorite flower?"

Sakura raised an eyebrow at him. "Naruto, you don't have a favorite flower," she scoffed.

If the circumstances had been different, Naruto might have nudged her side and slyly hinted that his favorite flower was, in fact, the cherry blossom. But now did not seem like the right time for shameless flirting, so he decided to listen to his better judgment. He pretended to mull this over for a second before admitting defeat. "Toupee," he sighed.

"Touché," she corrected him without fail.

"Bless you," he said with mock seriousness.

There was a beat of silence, and then Sakura burst into laughter, just because it was so ridiculous. It was a lame joke, Naruto had to admit, and probably twice as old as Tsunade-baa-chan herself, but as long as it made Sakura laugh, Naruto didn't care if it made him look like the biggest idiot in the world. It wouldn't have been the first time he took one for the team.

Naruto chuckled along with her and, almost as a reflex, put his arm around her shoulders to keep them steady as they walked. Much to his joy, she didn't pull away, but leaned her head on his shoulder as their laughter died. They shared a silent moment in a post-humorous high, and then Sakura sighed, "I've missed you."

Whatever feeling that had welled up inside his chest earlier was replaced with something lighter as he smiled and rubbed her shoulder. He wasn't sure if she was referring to how little she had seen him over the past week or how she had missed the bond they had shared before the complication of Sasuke's death—or Naruto's ANBU induction to be completely honest. But Naruto did know that it couldn't be a bad thing to be missed, right?

"I've always been here," he hummed, trying his own hand at leaving implied meanings in his messages. He could be cryptic, too!

She smiled, but her sigh told him that she didn't quite agree with him. "You've gone plenty of places where I couldn't reach you," she responded, effectively snuffing out any satisfactory victory flame that still burned in his ego.

Talk about a mind fuck. What did that _mean? _Was she talking about him leaving the village for missions? No, that seemed too petty of her. But what else could it mean? Not for the first time, Naruto wished that the people in his life would just realize that these murmured asides and deep allusions were wasted on him. It would make his life so much simpler.

Trying to save face, Naruto replied, "Well, I'm here now. We'll help each other through this, I promise."

This seemed to appease Sakura for the time being. She nodded, but pulled away from his embrace. He suddenly felt cold without her pressed to his side, despite the sun beating down on him. Giving him a gentle smile, Sakura said, "What did I tell you about making promises? Now come on, we're going to be late."

Naruto blinked as she tugged on his sleeve; he hadn't realized that they had stopped walking.

Ah, that was right. They couldn't be late. After all, they were probably going to make up a good portion of the visitation party.

* * *

><p>To be continued . . .<p> 


End file.
